Hi James,
Interesting concept here!
In redrafts I'd try and get eliminate a fair few mentions of the word "hour"
I sense, in other ways as well, it's a poem that wants to shrink in the
wash.
Bob
>From: James Bell <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New sub: Little Paradise Hour
>Date: Sat, 6 May 2006 10:14:09 +0000
>
>Dear All, this is another from the notebook, very much at first draft
>stage. So do point out the holes.
>
>LITTLE PARADISE HOUR
>
>This is you little paradise hour
>as you walk by water with notebook and book,
>pass the people who munch food
>and stare at the sky - soak up the sun;
>pss the respectable lady who drinks
>and drains a bottle wrapped in a plastic bag
>for her little paradise hour
>and we all withdraw from the other hours
>by hours that are not escaped from in sleep
>
>You soak up your little hour - it permeates
>your mind as the sun caresses your skin
>warms the senses within, and has you grasp
>for words to place here, to recreate
>the sensation for other hours that belong
>to you and others you may never know - hello!
>
>
>
>bw
>James
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