Thanks Matt, I have altered the last two lines as I also felt they were not
quite right. Thanks Sally J
>From: Matt Merritt <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: Mam's hands
>Date: Thu, 20 Apr 2006 10:54:37 +0000
>
>Hi Sally,
>I like this, especially that line "It would take a week for them to heal",
>which seems to me a really excellent, understated way of saying they never
>healed.
>I'd think about leaving out the last line though - I think you could end it
>with "would not let me go" just as effectively.
>Regards,
>Matt
>
>>From: Sally James <[log in to unmask]>
>>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>Subject: Mam's hands
>>Date: Wed, 19 Apr 2006 23:31:21 +0100
>>
>>Mam’s hands
>>
>>She was frail, but her hands were strong,
>>crumpled, like leaves about to fall.
>>After washday they would glisten red,
>>plastered with white petroleum jelly.
>>It would take a week for them to heal.
>>When she grew old, blue veins throbbed
>>below pale transparent skin.
>>
>>I think of her hands often now
>>they way they could smack and clap,
>>scrub and polish, bake and knit,
>>her fingers moving so fast
>>the wool caught on cracked fingertips.
>>The way she would not let me go
>>held my hand in hers, warm, secure, safe.
>>
>>Sally James
|