Hi Gill,
It might be that the image of peaches being like a crowd of faces in a 
stadium doesn't strike too clearly with people who may be asked to judge 
poetry competitions... but I wouldn't change it myself.
I guess I appreciated it all the more, though, because I'd been talking to 
an art student last weekend who'd just exhibited an installation depicting a 
crowd at a football match. We talked briefly about how football crowds have 
always been very conscious of rhythm in what they shout, sing and chant - 
but that's another subject!
In your poem the image of the crowd, with its own life, is one that lingers 
for me - and it contrasts so well with the last image. But I've just 
thought: "the mirror of the jars" and I'm starting to wonder about the word 
"mirror" - can each peach see itself? Can each peach see just the other 
peaches, the peaches in the other jars?
Bob
(Who knows the last couple of sentences sound weird! Not to be quoted out of 
context! Grin!!))

>From: Gill McEvoy <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: new post: peaches for pickling
>Date: Sun, 16 Apr 2006 10:05:22 +0100
>
>Sally, thank you so much. It is very generous of you simply to love it. I 
>have to admit I like this poem myself, but I have had difficulty getting it 
>published (it has not been published although did get shortlisted in a 
>competition once) so I became utterly convinced something was really wrong 
>with it that I just couldn't see.
>I haven't commented on your poem yet, but I will soon. I have read it and I 
>liked it;  what Bob says in his e-mail picks out a lot of the very good 
>stuff in it. But I do like to think hard before saying anything.
>every good wish,
>Gil
>----- Original Message ----- From: "Sally James" <[log in to unmask]>
>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>Sent: Saturday, April 15, 2006 1:18 PM
>Subject: Re: new post: peaches for pickling
>
>
>>This is wonderful. I love it, nothing to crit. I like the fine attention 
>>to detail. Some lovely phrases "they cheer the sun's ball on its ark". I 
>>also like the way you have given the fruit almost human qualities. A 
>>lovely poem for me. Best wishes Sally J
>>
>>
>>>From: Gill McEvoy <[log in to unmask]>
>>>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>>Subject: new post: peaches for pickling
>>>Date: Fri, 14 Apr 2006 20:51:25 +0100
>>>
>>>Dear Poets,
>>>In the southern USA they pickle peaches for serving with pork/chicken 
>>>etc, as we pickle onions or make chutney.
>>>
>>>Here's my poem and would be glad of feedback, thanks.
>>>
>>>Peaches for Pickling.
>>>
>>>They are wedged in the bushel basket,
>>>their fat dumplings piled high,
>>>packed like a crowd in a stadium.
>>>They cheer the sun's ball on its arc
>>>from rise to fall, their ripe scent
>>>surging like a chant of summer.
>>>
>>>She pours them on an unfamiliar tabletop:
>>>like crowds that exit by the wrong gate
>>>they scatter, scurry, hesitate
>>>then shiver to a stop as if they were
>>>oddly cold inside their felted skins of fur.
>>>
>>>How will they feel tonight
>>>when her knives and pickling pans are done
>>>and each astonished fruit regards itself,
>>>bald and naked, in the mirror
>>>of the jars?
>>>
>>>
>>>It's Spring here at last, a wonderfully warm day and all the 
>>>neighbourhood out gardening (except me!) I hope it's Spring there where 
>>>you all are.
>>>Sincerely,
>>>Gill McEvoy
>>
>>
>>
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