Thanks Bob, You have actually seen more in this poem than I actually
intended. But yes their is a sublety and I did actually work quite a while
on this poem till I got it how I wanted it. There is the jucstaposition
between machinary, medication and the human touch. I did want to get this
message across also the vulnerability of the patient and the feeling of
being out of control and like a puppet. I was a nurse all of my working
life and realise now how dedicated and essential these people are. The
advancement in science and technology has been tremendous since I worked in
hospital. But we still need the advice of the doctor. Best wishes Sally J
>From: Bob Cooper <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: New sub Heart ache
>Date: Sat, 15 Apr 2006 12:32:46 +0000
>
>Hi Sally,
>I like this poem a lot. It's saying extrodinary things. I mean, for
>instance, the notion of being a puppet - it's visually apt because of all
>the tubes that sometimes get fixed to a person in a hospital bed; the
>notion of waltzing instead of jiving (that notion of a waltze that has
>graceful movement, but also the deftness and speed that waltzing can have!
>And waltzing is a way of dancing that involves a more evident closeness
>between people - which neatly relates to how the poem ends. You notice
>people's sleeves when they are waltzing - more than you notice sleeves when
>people are jiving! So there's complexity subtly hidden inside the poem).
>Another thing I like is you say "the monitor" but then say "a doctor" -
>that's a subtle comment or insight on technology and people who work in
>health care. It's got me thinking that as there are now staff cuts in
>hospitals I wonder about the costs of machines... complex issues in just
>using the word "the" and the word "a"!
>Thanks,
>Bob
>
>
>>From: Sally James <[log in to unmask]>
>>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>Subject: New sub Heart ache
>>Date: Fri, 14 Apr 2006 10:08:50 +0100
>>
>>Not so sure about this poem.
>>
>>
>>Heartache
>>
>>
>>The monitor bleeped squiggly lines
>>as if it were doing a jig.
>>My heart rate was all over the place.
>>It is out of sinc I thought
>>doesn’t know which rhythm to dance to.
>>A nurse took blood, gave oxygen.
>>I needed air, fresh and pure
>>needed the drip in my veins
>>to make me waltz, instead of jive.
>>I crackled in a thin paper gown.
>>I was a puppet, entangled in wires.
>>A doctor told me to look after my heart
>>keep it safe, not wear it on my sleeve anymore.
>>
>>
>>Sally James
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