Hi Matt,
Thanks!
Yes, but sadly the lovers ain't at the bus stop no more! They've been
replaced by something more easy on the ear and eye! Perhaps something about
not regreting wearing shoes that are too tight, or wearing a T-shirt that -
half way through the evening - you knew you'd never wear again! (and
probably not even rip it up to use as a duster!).
I might post the revision. Perhaps poems, though, are like sunday trifles,
they need a bit of time, like the trifle needs an hour or more to set enough
to get spooned out.
Bob
>From: Matt Merritt <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: New Sub: Eating The 1st Ice Creams...
>Date: Sun, 2 Apr 2006 21:14:18 +0000
>
>Hi Bob,
>I liked this very much. I always enjoy poems and songs that take this sort
>of tone - the direct instructions are very definite and decisive, but
>elsewhere there's a lot of tenderness. "The pleasure of saying yes" was a
>phrase that I really liked, too.
>My only nit was the lovers at bus stops line. I keep stumbling a little
>over it, but I don't really know what can be done to improve it, and I
>wouldn't like to see it go altogether.
>Best wishes,
>Matt
>
>
>>From: Bob Cooper <[log in to unmask]>
>>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>Subject: New Sub: Eating The 1st Ice Creams...
>>Date: Sat, 1 Apr 2006 20:50:55 +0000
>>
>>Perhaps it was Sally's Spring Poem that got me going...
>>Anyway, all comments welcome:
>>
>>While Eating The First Ice Creams Of The Year
>>
>>Regret nothing. Not the banal lyrics of songs
>>that disappeared so soon from the juke box
>>but were fixed in the mind and repeated, repeated,
>>nor the lovers with cold faces first kissed at bus stops.
>>Don’t regret the pleasure of saying yes, the courage
>>of no, or the cheap coffee, almost empty marmite jars,
>>the leather coat with almost loose buttons, or losing the fiver
>>that squirmed through a hole in its pocket. Regret nothing,
>>not even conversations that went the wrong way.
>>Accept you’ve reached where you are with the smile
>>of accepting mistakes. Let’s just share this lunchtime sun,
>>sit with nothing to say as we watch others pass,
>>then, eyes closed, raise our faces to the warmth
>>that draws colour to buds that have yet to appear.
>>
>>Bob Cooper
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