Hi Ahren,
Welcome!
I don't think we've spoken/written to each other before.
Thanks for the comments! They're helpful. I'll preface my comments on your 
comments with *'s.
*I'm going to change the line about the bus stops and the lovers! It's one I 
was playing with (again!) just before I posted the piece on TheWorks. I 
recognise it's still not right.
**I also must admit I hadn't noticed the two "almost"'s before! I'm getting 
lazy in my looking.
***I'm also giving a lot of thought to replacing "its" with "your" - it may 
make it flow better as you suggest, but I'm wondering how soon in the piece 
I want to include the 2nd person. The "you," the 2nd person in the poem, 
gets introduced later on with a more general statement (it could almost be a 
universal "you" and not a particular individual) and then, later on still, I 
mention "us" ("let's just...") and "we." Perhaps I'm initially wanting the 
reader to think they are being addressed - and then show that whoever's 
reading it isn't the only person this might matter to. I'm going to think 
about when I want to include the two characters in the poem.
****And lunchtime is (very) easy! I accept that! I guess it's just that at 
the time of year before buds appear it could only be lunchtime when it would 
be warm enough to eat ice creams in public! But I could say "Newcastle sun" 
or "Paris sun" or "Prague sun" and add to the locality of the poem. (Am I 
thinking of Frank O'Hara's Lunch Poems too much? Perhaps, on some level, I 
might be.)
Thanks,
Bob

>From: Ahren Warner <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: New Sub: Eating The 1st Ice Creams...
>Date: Sun, 2 Apr 2006 10:50:33 +0100
>
>Hi Bob, I really liked this poem, just a few things i thought i'd mention 
>which i've asterisked and then noted at the bottom, cheers, Ahren
>
>
>While Eating The First Ice Creams Of The Year
>
>Regret nothing. Not the banal lyrics of songs
>that disappeared so soon from the juke box
>but were fixed in the mind and repeated, repeated,
>nor the lovers with cold faces first kissed* at bus stops.
>Don't regret the pleasure of saying yes, the courage
>of no, or the cheap coffee, almost empty marmite jars,
>the leather coat with almost** loose buttons, or losing the fiver
>that squirmed through a hole in its*** pocket. Regret nothing,
>not even conversations that went the wrong way.
>Accept you've reached where you are with the smile
>of accepting mistakes. Let's just share this lunchtime**** sun,
>sit with nothing to say as we watch others pass,
>then, eyes closed, raise our faces to the warmth
>that draws colour to buds that have yet to appear.
>
>* i think this should be 'kissing' for more coherent sense though i know 
>it'll cause rhythmic problems...
>** i don't think the repetition of almost works here
>*** i like how you extend the leather jacket image here with the 
>referential 'its' but i think it would be better with 'your' losing the 
>extension but making it flow better
>**** i just think lunchtime is too easy...