Hi calaya,
I know this isn't the most helpful comment  could make but I feel that this 
poem's theme (or themes) don't work too well with its shape.
I think it works OK until about half way through and then I feel that the 
three-line stanzas seem to work against the way the poem's working, the 
stanza breaks feel too arbitary, rather loose.
I also find myself asking the question: so what am I focusing on here? And I 
know I have to give a long answer (cos it's a long and complex piece) but 
it's also a very difficult question to answer.
Bob


>From: calaya <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: new sub: actual realities
>Date: Mon, 13 Mar 2006 13:05:17 -0800
>
>for  c & c, if you please
>   calaya
>   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>   Look up: we’re in a galaxy glisten-
>   in relation-Ships shooting like stars
>   at play with stars. We shoot, fall;
>
>   descend and spin across space. Gaze,
>   you may, into paradox: there,
>   dark, disturbing immensity
>
>   may seem like a sea spilled from a cup,
>   or seem bend to splatter
>   us and peaceful starlight-
>
>   or an eagle may emerge: slowly flutter wings.
>   Take you to you and your world-
>   your world-view changed.
>
>   You may, if you want, inhale and exhale deeply.
>   You may draw an ocean in with your breath.
>   You may close your eyes and relax.
>
>   You may let your mind travel through uncharted
>   waters where you may float from your thoughts,
>   from self-
>
>   You may inhale and exhale everything you’ve believed.
>   You may let it all go there: where you feel unnamable-
>   "it" won’t disappear: you won’t, unless you so desire;
>
>   but what you’ve believed might vanish. You may fear;
>   or sing, ah, here’s enough light.
>   You may know silence as the heart of home.
>
>   When you’re inland, you may dream ocean. You may stand
>   alone on sand dunes, let wave rhythms quiet mind.
>   In silence, you may know an ocean word can’t make,
>
>   or make known. You may know beyond your dreams
>   and ours, a deep, expansive, actual reality,
>   out of which flow actual realities.
>
>   Actual as this sacred place and space: on Earth,
>   as it is, in the heavens; here, you may or may not
>   perceive Spirit or spirits.
>
>   In silence, you may appear to be a Great Mystery.
>   Still in silence, you may feel in a Great Mystery.
>   You may hear Great Music while you walk
>
>   with a friend who hears Death and is afraid
>   it’s Nothing.              You may both be in-touch
>   with wisdom.                             You may enter
>
>   Earth and feel Sun silently.        You may wake
>   with an Eagle of wisdom:         share life-breath.
>   You may appear tilted as an ocean wave,
>
>   pompous as tsunami; you may breath within
>   energy rhythms alive as you; alive as you crash
>   and retreat, crash and retreat, crash and retreat.
>
>
>
>---------------------------------
>Brings words and photos together (easily) with
>  PhotoMail  - it's free and works with Yahoo! Mail.