--- Gill McEvoy <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Hello everyone, plaese may I ask for some some
> feedback on this?
>
> Blind Dreams.
>
> Your body will be silk, I know,
> your breasts like water-lilies,
> golden centred, cupped in white
> and glistening.
>
> I will hold you; I will enter you.
> We will make a wheel of love
> like dragonflies,
> blue and bright in June.
>
> You will chart my body to me,
> discover to me all its secrets.
> You will warm the darkness
> that I live in now.
>
> The sheets are chill, the bed forlorn.
> You will not come, I know,
> but stillI I practise remembering:
> waterlilies, dragonflies.
>
>
> Gill McEvoy.
The one thing that jars for me
is the phrase
"discover to me"
reveal to me
would make perfect sense
perhaps even
discover for me
otherwise I love the poignancy of the poem
yours
Gerald
Gerald England
New Hope International, Haiku Talk
poetry, reviews, travel photography and more
http://www.geraldengland.co.uk
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