Re: replacement of words

But that's the thing about English. It's so rich in synonmyms that you 
really can find solutions to the the hardest "engineering problems". Eg you 
have finger, digit and pinky. They even assonate.


Colin


----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Bob Cooper" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, March 03, 2006 1:56 PM
Subject: Re: New Sub: Measuring Up (Catherine)


> Hi Catherine,
> Yes, I guess the Prufrock reference might only get a mention if this poem 
> ever nudged its way into a reading - and I'd probably only make a comment 
> After the poem had been read!
> And, yes, the complex but simple phrase, which appeared in the initial 
> draft, now looks suspiciously as if it's only there to keep the rhythm 
> going. I like the line lengths, the reading pace the lines suggest, so I 
> might well take the time to modify things yet keep the pace and flow. And 
> isn't it amazing how, when you try to delete words or short phrases you 
> try to replace them with things that sound almost the same?
> Bob
> Who's also replied to Matt saying things about the phrase as well.
>
>
>>From: catherine JF <[log in to unmask]>
>>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>Subject: Re: New Sub: Measuring Up
>>Date: Thu, 2 Mar 2006 10:21:48 -0000
>>
>>I like this a lot Bob.  It's poignant in a deeply depressing way!  Only a 
>>slight shade of Prufrock in there, I don't think you need to mention it.
>>
>>Good economical style which suits the content well.  The only nit I have 
>>is the phrase 'complex yet simple' - it's not necessary and a bit too 
>>obvious.
>>
>>Thanks for the read, Cathy
>>
>>   Measuring Up
>>
>>   You drape socks on the radiator,
>>   each one pulled straight, in pairs.
>>   No-one said you would choose this life:
>>   things happened, things didn't. Sometimes
>>   the choices were yours, sometimes not.
>>   The hours asleep, the longer hours awake
>>   at home, at work, the daydreams
>>   when travelling, the meals, the customs
>>   you observed and then followed, clothes
>>   you assumed would say something
>>   and the hairstyles, shoes, which quietened
>>   with age. How your accent changed
>>   and how you tried to turn, by faith,
>>   complex yet simple abstract nouns into verbs -
>>   words like hope and love. Each cup of coffee
>>   you've drunk after spooning in the granules
>>   sipped while still warm in afternoons
>>   before what happens next.
>>
>>   Bob Cooper
>>
>>   (who, you might want to know, has read - and borrowed or stolen - 
>> something
>>   TS Eliot wrote)
>