Hi sally,
You make good points!
I hadn't realised how woolly or vague "a vast waiting room" actually is.
That phrasing's under the microscope! (It actually wasn't a waiting Room as
such, more like a Waiting Area - a kind of convergence of corridors with
seats crammed in and coffee machines etc around the edges...
And the title? I guess I should be thinking more: this is how I discover
such troubles get sorted - and find a pithy way of saying that.
Thanks!
Bob
>From: Sally James <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: new sub: Heart Trouble
>Date: Wed, 4 Jan 2006 15:02:31 +0000
>
>I think this is a lovely poem Bob and very positive,it is good to read that
>the world is alright. The only thing is that I too am not so sure about the
>title. I am also not so sure about " a vast waiting room that's not for
>your appointment" but otherwise for me the poem works for me and has a good
>clear message, Bw Sally J
>
>
>>From: Bob Cooper <[log in to unmask]>
>>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>Subject: new sub: Heart Trouble
>>Date: Wed, 4 Jan 2006 12:55:05 +0000
>>
>>An early draft...
>>Not sure about the title...
>>Not sure about the poem!
>>All comments welcome!
>>
>>Heart Trouble
>>
>>Everywhere in the UK there are people
>>like us: confused when the phone rings
>>and then the voice just says, It’s me.
>>How are you? And there’s a pause. But it’s alright.
>>Like with drizzle the world cleanses itself
>>in such forgetful, such gentle ways.
>>And later you start talking to a young mum
>>when you hand back the toy her child’s dropped
>>and she says lots of things that don’t matter
>>except she’s glad to say them to someone
>>who smiles. Then maybe you stumble
>>into a hospital, a vast waiting room
>>that’s not for your appointment and full
>>where four students are playing Beethoven,
>>how they concentrate, how they don’t blink,
>>so focused on what they must do
>>and, like me, you sit in that somewhere else
>>for as long as it takes to return
>>to a world where whatever happens
>>is careful, makes sense, is always OK.
>>
>>Bob Cooper
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