Thanks for the suggestions. Not sure that I'm at the grown up stage yet (as 
I speed towards my mature years).


Colin



----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Terri" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, February 27, 2006 10:36 PM
Subject: Re: newsub/ages


>I like the lists - the fun things and the physical characteristics - an
> interesting contrast. It reminds me of how I learnt the latter, before I
> really grew up. It was easier to focus on the signs of the syndrome rather
> than the loves and life of the person who has to live within it.
>
> I find line 5 a bit clumsy, but that might be partly the way I first read 
> it
> - there was no line break after visits on my screen.
>
> The 'at sixteen' and 'at sixty' give the impression of a contrast within a
> lifetime, which distracted me. On the theme of age/time, I'm not sure 
> about
> 'what the teenagers really think when they whistle' - can't you find
> something pithier?
>
> As for a title - how about a name?
>
> Terri
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: The Pennine Poetry Works [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf
> Of Colin Dewar
> Sent: 26 February 2006 13:12
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: newsub/ages
>
> Title?
>
>
> At sixteen he adores doughnuts,
> light sabres, funfairs, the synthetic frosting on the glass
> of the shop window. His moon face shines
> at Halloween and every year when my daughter visits
> his small-toothed grin, his short hands, show playfulness
> that conjures pirates, a jaunty hat and a stroll up the plank.
>
> At sixty, his Mum will soon be too old to lift him up the stairs,
> to warn what the teenagers really think when they whistle.
> My daughter asks why he is so bendy, so bulky,
> his fifth finger curved as a little sickle,
> then turns before I answer and dances in the sun,
> plays Wendy to Peter Pan.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Colin
>
>
> ______________________
>