I like this, Bob. One ambiguity noticed: do you mean
the customs you noticed and then followed?
or do you mean you observed the customs and then went on observing them
(slavishly perhaps)?
Also (rolling my sleeves up)
I like the 'simple abstract nouns' bit - and then find coffee spoons again a
bit predictable for the ending (while Prufrock, yes he was predictable, with
the bottoms of his trousers rolled)
May the unpredictable still happen! May the mermaids sing to you!
cheers
SallyE
on 28/2/06 5:51 pm, Bob Cooper at [log in to unmask] wrote:
> H'm, should have been working hard after work... instead:
> A first draft for any comments:
>
> Measuring Up
>
> You drape socks on the radiator,
> each one pulled straight, in pairs.
> No-one said you would choose this life:
> things happened, things didn’t. Sometimes
> the choices were yours, sometimes not.
> The hours asleep, the longer hours awake
> at home, at work, the daydreams
> when travelling, the meals, the customs
> you observed and then followed, clothes
> you assumed would say something
> and the hairstyles, shoes, which quietened
> with age. How your accent changed
> and how you tried to turn, by faith,
> complex yet simple abstract nouns into verbs -
> words like hope and love. Each cup of coffee
> you’ve drunk after spooning in the granules
> sipped while still warm in afternoons
> before what happens next.
>
> Bob Cooper
>
> (who, you might want to know, has read - and borrowed or stolen - something
> TS Eliot wrote)
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