By the way it's difficult to think of a full replacement for the word "crap" 
or "crappy" in everyday conversation - just supposing you wanted to be 
really polite. There are plenty of words that appear to mean the same - mere 
dictionary synonyms. However there are nuances, such as an implied "matey, 
bonhomie we're all in this ridiculous situation together" that aren't 
captured by words like "duff" or "shabby".  In your poem you could easily 
replace "crap" with "nonsense" but in the process you'd move yourself up the 
spectrum towards austere formality. It's not a phenomenological synonym even 
if it is a semantic one.


Colin







----- Original Message ----- 
From: "sally evans" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Sunday, February 19, 2006 11:12 AM
Subject: Re: New Poem: the vegetable lamb - Matt and others


> Yes there'll definitely be a rewrite: that line came from impatience with
> the ridiculous things people will say they believe (you wonder if they
> really do believe them or are just beeing cussed), & its interesting there
> was such a unanimous objection to that phrase.
> thanks folks
> SallyE
> on 18/2/06 9:23 pm, Matt Merritt at [log in to unmask] wrote:
>
>> Hi Sally,
>> Without wanting to keep banging on about the same point, I'd definitely 
>> lose
>> the "crap". It just doesn't fit here, I don't think, but otherwise I 
>> really
>> enjoyed this poem.
>> "Geese born from barnacles would recognise this story" is great, and I 
>> like
>> the way you've used the myths here.
>> Regards,
>> Matt
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>> From: Bob Cooper <[log in to unmask]>
>>> Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>> To: [log in to unmask]
>>> Subject: Re: New Poem: the vegetable lamb
>>> Date: Sat, 18 Feb 2006 12:32:05 +0000
>>>
>>> Hi Sally,
>>> Like others have mentioned, the crap phrase jars, sticks out, feels out 
>>> of
>>> place.
>>> I like what else I find happening in the poem. There's a dry, sharp look 
>>> at
>>> myth's of the past and a questioning of the present and the future. It's
>>> very subtle, it's neat.
>>> Bob
>>>
>>>
>>>> From: sally evans <[log in to unmask]>
>>>> Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>>> To: [log in to unmask]
>>>> Subject: New Poem: the vegetable lamb
>>>> Date: Tue, 14 Feb 2006 02:03:26 +0000
>>>>
>>>> The vegetable lamb
>>>>
>>>> A tiny toylike lamb
>>>> was said to grow
>>>> on leaves and roots
>>>> to open in a pod
>>>> of lanolined wood
>>>> to grow and feed
>>>> provide white wool
>>>> fine filigree.
>>>>
>>>> Geese born from barnacles
>>>> would recognise
>>>> this story. Others knew
>>>> it foolish, and in time
>>>> it ceased to interest
>>>> even religious minds
>>>> and dropped out
>>>> of our mythology.
>>>>
>>>> But there are left
>>>> here and there
>>>> drawings and images -
>>>> cotton-like plant
>>>> a budded womb
>>>> a lamb like those
>>>> of sacrifice,
>>>> haloes and blood.
>>>>
>>>> In our current state
>>>> we cannot interpret,
>>>> we do not believe
>>>> that sort of crap
>>>> but in our superstitious
>>>> brains, plastic roads
>>>> instead lead us to
>>>> graveyards of fridges.
>>>>
>>>> Sally Evans
>