Hi Ryfkah,
Yes, I'm going to give the piece a kind of shave shampoo and haircut, trim
away a few words, neaten things up a litte - but I don't want to make it
appear fresh and bright. It needs, I feel, to keep a soft tone.
Bob
>From: Ryfkah * <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: New Sub: Such Enlightening
>Date: Mon, 20 Feb 2006 14:05:27 EST
>
>Shalom my poetbrother,
>
>In a message dated 02/20/2006 8:33:10 AM, [log in to unmask]
>writes:
>
><< to a drunken moon whose light hides many faint stars >>
>
>I like this line best.
>
>I like the metaphor.
>
>I believe some paring would be useful.
>
>kol tuv, Ryfkah
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