Hi Bob

I'm not sure I've much knowledge of Reeth but suspect
it is similiar to places like Askrigg, Hawes &c.

A few comments from me within the poem -- not so much
crits as such but going off-tangets that might be
useful or not.

--- Bob Cooper <[log in to unmask]> wrote:

> Reeth is a small town in Swaledale, North Yorkshire.
> Maybe 2 pubs, maybe a 
> couple of cafes, maybe a dozen shops, and that's it.
> But do you need to know 
> that? Possibly not.
> 
> All comments welcome!
> 
> Such Enlightening


strange title

> 
> New Year’s Eve is a town like Reeth
> where local accents are different

this begs the question
different to what? non-local obviously but the
non-locals appear in the next line -- how about giving
us the difference with maybe
where local accents are strong
are thick 
are ....anything more positive than just different.


> and in some holiday cottage Co-op carrier bags


some? so vague -- you have cottage singular
so why not 
into the h.c.


> with clinking bottles, bags of pasta, are carried
> from a car

carrier bags
carried

consider
brought from the car
or more forcefully perhaps
lifted from the car-boot

> that ticks in the damp air, its windows gleaming

what is ticking?
the engine of the car?

> with lights from the Christmas tree on the green.
> Footprints on the moist pavement disappear.
> The door closes shutting out darkness for the
> evening
> until at midnight so many people, unfamiliar to the
> place,

so many people [from ONE holiday cottage]


> stand outside, glasses in hand, listening to the air
> more than to each other, their breath rising
> to a drunken moon whose light hides many faint
> stars.

> Bob Cooper

I'm trying to get the picture here but am confused.

Here we seem to have the sleepy little town
and the in-coming holiday cottagers
bringing their own non-local provisions
firstly shutting themselves off
but using the light of the community Christmas green.

And is it then only these in-comers who go out after
midnight to toast the new year in the open air?

 
Anyhow Bob
having scattered the pieces of your poem
I hope you can bind it back again
I'm sure you can.

all the best
Gerald
 


Gerald England
New Hope International, Haiku Talk
poetry, reviews, travel photography and more
http://www.geraldengland.co.uk

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