Hi Bob,
I liked this very much. The car ticking in the damp air is a particularly
evocative image (and I always like to see the Co-op get a mention in a
poem!).
My only nit would be "local" in line two. I'm not sure whether it's needed.
It may just be me, though - at every paper I've worked on they have always
made it a no-no, on the principle that it means different things to
different people. And that's not necessarily a bad thing in a poem. so it
may jar with me for entirely the wrong reasons.
Anyway, I'm rambling! Great last line, and a very enjoybale poem.
Regards,
Matt
>From: Bob Cooper <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New Sub: Such Enlightening
>Date: Mon, 20 Feb 2006 16:32:50 +0000
>
>Reeth is a small town in Swaledale, North Yorkshire. Maybe 2 pubs, maybe a
>couple of cafes, maybe a dozen shops, and that's it. But do you need to
>know that? Possibly not.
>
>All comments welcome!
>
>Such Enlightening
>
>New Year’s Eve is a town like Reeth
>where local accents are different
>and in some holiday cottage Co-op carrier bags
>with clinking bottles, bags of pasta, are carried from a car
>that ticks in the damp air, its windows gleaming
>with lights from the Christmas tree on the green.
>Footprints on the moist pavement disappear.
>The door closes shutting out darkness for the evening
>until at midnight so many people, unfamiliar to the place,
>stand outside, glasses in hand, listening to the air
>more than to each other, their breath rising
>to a drunken moon whose light hides many faint stars.
>
>Bob Cooper
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