Sally J,

This is a nice wee poem. It feels like it's the right length and the last 
few laconic lines are a great counter point. I might add CAPS and 
punctuation to the last stanza to get the pauses right. (Plus one or two 
commas to S1 - tho' this is a matter of taste I suspect).

Not so happy with:

and Freesia
> sighing perfume in the hall.

The word sighing is almost good. It captures more than one dimension, but 
perhaps the line becomes heavy in the process. How about "...Freesia sighing 
in the hall." That simplifies the connection between plant and person.


Colin



----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Sally James" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Wednesday, February 15, 2006 8:20 AM
Subject: new sub Seeds of love


> Seeds of love
>
> There should be flowers in this house
> Tulips erect and strong
> or Daffodils ready to explode.
> There should be Snowdrops in a crystal vase
> sending winter sunlight dancing
> through the glass.
> There should be posies tied with ribbons
> Carnations on the window sill and Freesia
> sighing perfume in the hall.
> Most of all there should be Roses
> red exuberant, bursting forth their blooms
> singing out undying love.
>
> But all I have is two packets of seeds
> better plant them I suppose
> who knows what the summer may bring?
>
> Sally James
>