Sally E,
I like the sound of this poem with minor exceptions. Please see below for
sugg'S IN CAPS. By the way "cotton-like plant" is a bit of a worry for me.
Maybe I'm coming at it the wrong way but cotton comes from a plant. A bit
like saying "mutton-like meat"? I guess I'm left wondering how it serves the
poem.
BW,
Colin
The vegetable lamb
>>>
>>> A tiny toylike lamb
>>> was said to grow
>>> on leaves and roots
>>> to open in a pod
>>> of lanolined wood
>>> to grow and feed COMMA
>>> provide white wool COMMA
>>> fine filigree.
>>>
>>> Geese born from barnacles
>>> would recognise
>>> this story. Others knew
>>> it foolish, and in time
>>> it ceased to interest
>>> even religious minds
>>> and dropped FROM
>>> our mythology.
>>>
>>> But there are left
>>> here and there
>>> drawings and images -
>>> cotton-like plantS
>>> a budded womb
>>> a lamb like those
>>> of sacrifice,
>>> haloes and blood.
>>>
>>> In our current state
>>> we CAN'T interpret,
>>> we do not believe
>>> that sort of crap
>>> but in our superstitious
>>> brains, plastic roads
>>> instead lead us to
>>> graveyards of fridges.
>>>
>>> Sally Evans
>
----- Original Message -----
From: "sally evans" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Tuesday, February 14, 2006 3:54 PM
Subject: Re: New Poem: the vegetable lamb - SallyJ
> Thansk Sally, I wondered about crap, it felt right to me as a colloquial
> remarmk - a way of saying the point of view was absolute rubbish., But I
> did
> wonder, especially with international readers. I'll find a way round it.,
> cheers
> SallyE
>
> on 14/2/06 8:16 am, Sally James at [log in to unmask] wrote:
>
>> I really like this Sally it means a lot on religious and health food
>> issues.
>> Just not so sure about the last verse though. "Crap" grinds a bit on my
>> mind
>> as does "plastic roads" I know what you are saying but for me these words
>> don't quite fit. Bw Sally J
>>> From: sally evans <[log in to unmask]>
>>> Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>> To: [log in to unmask]
>>> Subject: New Poem: the vegetable lamb
>>> Date: Tue, 14 Feb 2006 02:03:26 +0000
>>>
>>> The vegetable lamb
>>>
>>> A tiny toylike lamb
>>> was said to grow
>>> on leaves and roots
>>> to open in a pod
>>> of lanolined wood
>>> to grow and feed
>>> provide white wool
>>> fine filigree.
>>>
>>> Geese born from barnacles
>>> would recognise
>>> this story. Others knew
>>> it foolish, and in time
>>> it ceased to interest
>>> even religious minds
>>> and dropped out
>>> of our mythology.
>>>
>>> But there are left
>>> here and there
>>> drawings and images -
>>> cotton-like plant
>>> a budded womb
>>> a lamb like those
>>> of sacrifice,
>>> haloes and blood.
>>>
>>> In our current state
>>> we cannot interpret,
>>> we do not believe
>>> that sort of crap
>>> but in our superstitious
>>> brains, plastic roads
>>> instead lead us to
>>> graveyards of fridges.
>>>
>>> Sally Evans
>
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