Hi Sally,
Without wanting to keep banging on about the same point, I'd definitely lose
the "crap". It just doesn't fit here, I don't think, but otherwise I really
enjoyed this poem.
"Geese born from barnacles would recognise this story" is great, and I like
the way you've used the myths here.
Regards,
Matt
>From: Bob Cooper <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: New Poem: the vegetable lamb
>Date: Sat, 18 Feb 2006 12:32:05 +0000
>
>Hi Sally,
>Like others have mentioned, the crap phrase jars, sticks out, feels out of
>place.
>I like what else I find happening in the poem. There's a dry, sharp look at
>myth's of the past and a questioning of the present and the future. It's
>very subtle, it's neat.
>Bob
>
>
>>From: sally evans <[log in to unmask]>
>>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>Subject: New Poem: the vegetable lamb
>>Date: Tue, 14 Feb 2006 02:03:26 +0000
>>
>>The vegetable lamb
>>
>>A tiny toylike lamb
>>was said to grow
>>on leaves and roots
>>to open in a pod
>>of lanolined wood
>>to grow and feed
>>provide white wool
>>fine filigree.
>>
>>Geese born from barnacles
>>would recognise
>>this story. Others knew
>>it foolish, and in time
>>it ceased to interest
>>even religious minds
>>and dropped out
>>of our mythology.
>>
>>But there are left
>>here and there
>>drawings and images -
>>cotton-like plant
>>a budded womb
>>a lamb like those
>>of sacrifice,
>>haloes and blood.
>>
>>In our current state
>>we cannot interpret,
>>we do not believe
>>that sort of crap
>>but in our superstitious
>>brains, plastic roads
>>instead lead us to
>>graveyards of fridges.
>>
>>Sally Evans
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