I must admit Bob that I do prefer poems that have a human element or emotion
in them. Without the emotional thing poems do seem bland to me. You were
just speacking your mind that is all and helping to make my mind up. bw
Sally J
>From: Bob Cooper <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: revised poem (bob)
>Date: Wed, 4 Jan 2006 13:06:05 +0000
>
>Hi Sally,
>Oooh-er! When I've just read what I wrote I sound really tough!!!
>I guess I believe some poems need a person in them to help the reader
>discover things. I guess other poems imply there's a narrator. But I know I
>can't write something well if I exclude people. I think I need at least one
>person, and I often have more, or mention others in some way. So I'm
>biased!
>Bob
>
>
>>From: Sally James <[log in to unmask]>
>>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>Subject: Re: revised poem (bob)
>>Date: Tue, 3 Jan 2006 19:58:57 +0000
>>
>>Well er Bob trying to improve maybe just makes things worse. I must stick
>>to being myself in future. It was quite a memorable thing for me that
>>evening and I do like to personalise poems and yes I know what you mean
>>about characterless. So much published poetry I have read recently seems
>>like that now though, characterless I mean. Thanks for your opinion. I
>>appreciate this. best wishes Sally J
>>
>>
>>>From: Bob Cooper <[log in to unmask]>
>>>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>>Subject: Re: revised poem
>>>Date: Tue, 3 Jan 2006 17:17:06 +0000
>>>
>>>Hi Sally,
>>>I don't like this as much!
>>>It feels sort of chqaracterless, very ordinary and not at all memorable
>>>or fresh.
>>>I guess it feels like that because there's no person in it...
>>>OK I know there's laughing and coughing mentioned, and they're unusual
>>>ways of describing stars and trees, but...
>>>... It might be that I enjoyed the initial draft so much - and I so enjoy
>>>poems where two subjects are included with a kind of tension between
>>>them. And the tension between writing poems and the gathering of darkness
>>>and light in what we call night semed so striking, and subtle, and
>>>powerful, to me.
>>>Bob
>>>
>>>
>>>>From: Sally James <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>>>Subject: revised poem
>>>>Date: Sun, 1 Jan 2006 14:02:04 +0000
>>>>
>>>>Years End
>>>>
>>>>The sky changed colours
>>>>and Venus laughed like a glowing eye.
>>>>Roots grabbed the earth,
>>>>trembled frozen grass.
>>>>Bronchial branches coughed into the evening sky.
>>>>The mist of their breath wrapped
>>>>the dying year in a flimsy shroud.
>>>>The stream, a ribbon of silver bells, tied
>>>>the final knot, rang in the new year.
>>>>
>>>>Sally James
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