Hi Calaya,
Interesting but a little confusing. Were these actual black birds or is this
a more generic name as it doesn't sem like any black bird that I know? Be
nice to say wht they were to add a little veracity. Were you the migrant or
the birds, the image clashes with the birds. I love the descriptive element
and the movement in the sky. This is the trouble with shorts the words have
a lot of work to do.
bw
James
>From: calaya <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: new sub: glide by
>Date: Fri, 27 Jan 2006 11:06:00 -0800
>
> short, for C & C, please.
> calaya
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Dark, weary, in long migration,
> I paused; looked skyward, watched
> a flock of small, black birds glide by-
>
> sail in and out, ascend, descend,
> a loosely held formation, until,
> for featherweight moments, they
>
> shaped one vast blackbird, in glide by-
>
>
>
>
>
>---------------------------------
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