Is it my imagination, or are the Xmas lights getting more elaborate, brighter, and appearing on more and more houses every Xmas. Has anyone calculated how much CO2 emieeions these things cause, especially when they appear on November the 1st and stay up till mid Feb.
One day our grandchildren will ask, 'daddy, why are those plastic snowmen on our lawn always white?' and we'll say, 'son, you know that white powdery stuff you see in the ice box in the fridge. Once upon a time, that sort of stuff fell out of the sky every winter all over Europe. Years ago there was even enough of it to make full-sized men out of it on the lawn. Then you stuck lumps of coal for buttons and a carrot for a nose to make his face' (Haven't a clue as to how we'll explain what a 'carrot' was). Then they'll ask 'daddy, what was coal'. We'll say, 'that was a rock you burnt to keep warm, and burning it eventually stopped all the white freezer-powder stuff from falling out of the sky'. They'll say, (after they've got inside out of the heat into the air conditioned Xmas party, and been given their festive Xmas T-shirts), 'why did people need to 'keep warm', couldn't they just shut the freezer door then?' We'll say, 'son, one time it was so cold in Europe in December people had to put pullovers on, warm coats even, because you see it used to rain sometimes in Europe, snow even'. They'll ask, 'daddy, what was a pullover? What was a warm coat? What was rain? What was snow? What was...'
And we'll say 'Oh just go outside and play in the sand son, while I cook the Xmas turkey!
And the Brummy kids will say 'daddy oi can't, the toid's in!'
Of course they won't believe any of this, not after they find out Santa doesn't exist either.
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Hillary Shaw, Geography, Southampton
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