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DISABILITY-RESEARCH  October 2005

DISABILITY-RESEARCH October 2005

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Subject:

Re: [victimisationagainstdisabledpeople] FW: Emailing: spirital.htm

From:

Russell <[log in to unmask]>

Reply-To:

Russell <[log in to unmask]>

Date:

Sat, 1 Oct 2005 15:39:05 +0100

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text/plain

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Please stop sending me this crap.
"Beloved Devine Energy"!!??! BOLLOCKS!
What does God mean to me? I think that She's crazy.

Russell.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Colin Revell" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>;
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Sent: Saturday, October 01, 2005 12:45 PM
Subject: [victimisationagainstdisabledpeople] FW: Emailing: spirital.htm


>
>
>
> >From: "Hazel Pottage" <[log in to unmask]>
> >To: "Colin Revell"
> ><[log in to unmask]>,<[log in to unmask]>
> >Subject: Emailing: spirital.htm
> >Date: Fri, 30 Sep 2005 23:21:34 +0100
> >
> >cnvc:: The spiritual basis of NVC
> >       you are here: home > nvc concepts > spiritual basis
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >             spiritual basis of nonviolent communicationsm
> >             a question and answer session with marshall b. rosenberg,
> >ph.d.
> >             Is spirituality important in the process of Nonviolent
> >Communication?
> >
> >             I think it is important that people see that spirituality is
> >at the base of Nonviolent Communication, and that they learn the
mechanics
> >of the process with that in mind. It's really a spiritual practice that I
> >am trying to show as a way of life. Even though we don't mention this,
> >people get seduced by the practice. Even if they practice this as a
> >mechanical technique, they start to experience things between themselves
> >and other people they weren't able to experience before. So eventually
they
> >come to the spirituality of the process. They begin to see that it's more
> >than a communication process and realize it's really an attempt to
manifest
> >a certain spirituality. So I have tried to integrate the spirituality
into
> >the training in a way that meets my need not to destroy the beauty of it
> >through abstract philosophizing.
> >
> >
> >             What does God mean to you?
> >
> >             I need a way to think of God that would work for me, other
> >words or ways to look at this beauty, this powerful energy, and so my
name
> >for God is "Beloved Divine Energy." For a while it was just Divine Energy
> >but then I was reading some of the Eastern religions, and Eastern poets,
> >and I loved how they had this personal, loving connection with this
Energy.
> >And I found that it added to me to call it "Beloved" Divine Energy. To me
> >this Beloved Divine Energy is life, connection to life.
> >
> >             What is your favorite way of knowing Beloved Divine Energy?
> >
> >             It is how I connect with human beings. I know Beloved Divine
> >Energy by connecting with human beings in a certain way. I not only see
> >Divine Energy, I taste Divine Energy, I feel Divine Energy, and I am
Divine
> >Energy. I'm connected with Beloved Divine Energy when I
> >             connect with human beings in this certain way. Then God is
> >very alive for me. Also talking with trees, talking with dogs and pigs,
> >those are some of my other favorite ways.
> >
> >
> >             How did you develop Nonviolent Communication?
> >
> >             Nonviolent Communication evolved from my attempt to get
> >conscious of what this Beloved Divine Energy is and how to connect with
it.
> >I was very dissatisfied with clinical psychology because it is pathology
> >based and I didn't like its language. It didn't give me a view of the
> >beauty of human beings. So, after I got my degree I decided to go more in
> >the direction of Carl Rogers and Abraham Maslow.
> >
> >             I decided to look at this side and ask myself the scary
> >question, "What are we and what are we meant to be?" I found that there
was
> >very little written about this in psychology. So I took a crash course in
> >comparative religion because I saw they talked more about this question.
> >And this word "love" kept coming up in each of them.
> >
> >             I used to hear the word love as many people use it in a
> >religious sense like, "You should love everybody." I used to get really
> >annoyed at the word love. "Oh yeah, I'm supposed to love Hitler?" I
didn't
> >know the words "New Age Bullshit" but I used what was my equivalent then.
I
> >tried to understand better what love means because I could see it had so
> >much meaning for so many millions of people in all of these religions.
What
> >is it, and how do you do this "love"?
> >
> >             to top of page
> >
> >             Nonviolent Communication really came out of my attempt to
> >understand this concept of love and how to manifest it, how to do it. I
> >came to the conclusion that it was not just something you feel, but it is
> >something we manifest, something we do, something we have. And what is
this
> >manifestation? It is giving of ourselves in a certain way.
> >
> >             What do you mean, "giving of ourselves"?
> >
> >             To me, giving of ourselves means an honest expression of
> >what's alive in us in this moment. It intrigues me why every culture asks
> >upon greeting each other, "How are you?" It's such an important question.
> >What a gift it is to be able to know at any given moment what is alive in
> >someone.
> >
> >             To give a gift of one's self is a manifestation of love. It
is
> >when you reveal yourself nakedly and honestly, at any given moment, for
no
> >other purpose than as a gift of what's alive in you. Not to blame,
> >criticize, or punish. Just "Here I am, and here is what I would like."
This
> >is my vulnerability at this moment. To me, that is a way of manifesting
> >love.
> >
> >             And the other way we give of ourselves is through how we
> >receive another person's message. To receive it empathically, connecting

> >with what's alive in them, making no judgment. Just to hear what is alive
> >in the other person and what they would like. So Nonviolent Communication
> >is just a manifestation of what I understand love to be.
> >
> >             Nonviolent Communication came out of your desire to manifest
> >love?
> >
> >             I was also helped by empirical research in psychology that
> >defined the characteristics of healthy relationships and by studying
people
> >who were living manifestations of loving people. Out of these sources I
> >pulled together this process that helped me to connect with people in
what
> >I could understand is a loving way.
> >
> >             And then I saw what happened when I did connect with people
in
> >this way. This beauty, this power, connected me with an energy that I
> >choose to call Beloved Divine Energy. So Nonviolent Communication helps
me
> >stay connected with that beautiful Divine Energy within myself and to
> >connect with it in others. And certainly when I connect that Divine
Energy
> >within myself with the Divine Energy in others, what happens then is the
> >closest I know of what it is to be connected to God.
> >
> >             How do you prevent Ego from interfering with your connection
> >with God?
> >
> >             By seeing Ego as very closely tied to the way my culture has
> >trained me to think, and trained me to communicate. And how the culture
has
> >trained me to meet my needs in certain ways, to get my needs mixed up
with
> >certain strategies I might use to meet my needs. So I try to remain
> >conscious of these three ways that the culture has programmed me to do
> >things that really aren't in my best interest, to function more from Ego
> >than from my connection with Divine Energy. I have tried to learn ways
for
> >training myself to be conscious when I'm thinking in these culturally
> >learned ways and I've incorporated these into Nonviolent Communication.
> >
> >             to top of page
> >
> >             Then you believe that the language of our culture prevents
us
> >from knowing our Divine Energy more intimately?
> >
> >             Oh yes, definitely. I think our language makes it really
hard,
> >especially the language given to us by the cultural training most of us
> >seem to have gone through, and the associations "God" brings up for
people.
> >Judgmental, or right/wrong thinking is one of the hardest things I've
found
> >to overcome in teaching Nonviolent Communication over the years. The
people
> >that I work with have all gone to schools and churches and it's very easy
> >for them, if they like Nonviolent Communication, to say it's the "right
> >way" to communicate. It's very easy to think that Nonviolent
Communication
> >is the goal.
> >
> >             I've altered a Buddhist parable that relates to this
question.
> >Imagine a beautiful, whole, and sacred place. And imagine that you could
> >really know God when you are in that place. But let's say that there is a
> >river between you and that place and you'd like to get to that place but
> >you've got to get over this river to do it. So you get a raft, and this
> >raft is a real handy tool to get you over the river. Once you're across
the
> >river you can walk the rest of the several miles to this beautiful place.
> >But the Buddhist parable ends by saying that, "One is a fool who
continues
> >on to the sacred place carrying the raft on their back."
> >
> >             Nonviolent Communication is a tool to get me over my
cultural
> >training so I can get to the place. It's not the place. If we get
addicted
> >to the raft, attached to the raft, it makes it harder to get to the
place.
> >People just learning the process of Nonviolent Communication can forget
all
> >about the place. If they get too locked into the raft, the process
becomes
> >mechanical.
> >
> >             Nonviolent Communication is one of the most powerful tools
> >that I've found for connecting with people in a way that helps me get to
> >the place where we are connected to the Divine, where what we do toward
one
> >another comes out of Divine Energy. That's the place I want to get to.
> >
> >             Is this the spiritual basis of Nonviolent Communication?
> >
> >             The spiritual basis for me is that I'm trying to connect
with
> >the Divine Energy in others and connect them with the Divine in me,
because
> >I believe that when we are really connected with that Divinity within
each
> >other and ourselves, that people enjoy contributing to one
> >             another's well being more than anything else. So for me, if
> >we're connected with the Divine in others and ourselves, we are going to
> >enjoy what happens, and that's the spiritual basis. In this place
violence
> >is impossible.
> >
> >             Is this lack of connection to Divine Energy responsible for
> >violence in the world?
> >
> >             I would say it this way: I think we have been given the gift
> >of choice to create the world of our choosing. And we've been given all
of
> >this great and abundant world for creating a world of joy and nurturing.
To
> >me, the violence in the world comes about when we get alienated or
> >disconnected from this Energy. How do we get connected when we are
educated
> >to be disconnected? I believe it's our cultural conditioning and
education
> >that disconnects us from God, especially our education about God.
> >
> >             Walter Wink writes about how domination cultures use certain
> >teachings about God to maintain oppression. That's why Bishops and Kings
> >have often been closely related. The Kings needed the Bishops to justify
> >the oppression, to interpret the holy books in ways that justified
> >punishment, domination, and so forth.
> >
> >             to top of page
> >
> >             How do we overcome this conditioning?
> >
> >             I'm often in between people in a lot of pain. I remember
> >working with twenty Serbians and twenty Croatians. Some of the people
there
> >had family members killed by the other side and they all had generations
of
> >poison pumped into their heads about the other side. They spent three
days
> >expressing their rage and pain to each other. Fortunately we were there
> >about seven days.
> >
> >             One word I haven't used yet in speaking about this is the
word
> >"inevitability". So many times I have seen that no matter what has
> >happened, if people connect in this certain way that it is inevitable
that
> >they will end up enjoying giving to one another. It is inevitable. For me
> >my work is like watching the magic show. It's too beautiful for words.
> >
> >             But sometimes this Divine Energy doesn't work as fast as I
> >think it should. I remember sitting there in the middle of all this rage
> >and pain and thinking, "Divine Energy, if you can heal all this stuff why
> >are you taking so long, why are you putting these people through this?"
And
> >the Energy spoke to me, and it said, "You just do what you can to
connect.
> >Bring your energy in. Connect and help the other people connect and let
me
> >take care of the rest." But even though that was going on in one part of
my
> >brain, I knew joy was inevitable. If we could just keep getting connected
> >to our own Divine Energy and to each other's.
> >
> >             And it happened. It happened with great beauty. The last day
> >everybody was talking about joy. And many of them said, "You know I
thought
> >I was never going to feel joy again after what we've been through." This
> >was the theme on everybody's lips. So that evening the twenty Serbians
and
> >twenty Croatians, who seven days earlier had only unimaginable pain in
> >relation to one another, celebrated the joy of life together.
> >
> >             We gain this connection to each other by knowing God?
> >
> >             Here again I want to stay away from intellectualizing about
> >God. If by "knowing God" we mean this intimate connection with Beloved
> >Divine Energy, then we gain every second as experiencing heaven.
> >
> >             The heaven I gain from knowing God is this inevitability, to
> >know it is inevitable, that no
> >             matter what the hell is going on that if we get to this
level
> >of connection with each other,
> >             if we get in touch with each other's Divine Energy, it's
> >inevitable that we will enjoy giving and we'll give back to life. I've
been
> >through such ugly stuff with people that I don't get worried about it
> >anymore, it's inevitable. If we get that quality of connection, we'll
like
> >where it gets us.
> >
> >             It amazes me how effective it is. I could tell you similar
> >examples between the extremist
> >             Israelis, both politically and religiously, and the same on
> >the Palestinian side, and between
> >             the Hutus and the Tutsis, and the Christian tribe in
Nigeria.
> >With all of them it amazes me
> >             how easy it is to bring about this reconciliation and
healing.
> >Once again, all we have to do
> >             is get both sides connected to the other person's needs. To
me
> >the needs are the quickest, closest way to getting in connection with
that
> >Divine Energy. Everyone has the same needs. The needs come because we're
> >alive.
> >
> >             How do you get enemies to recognize that they need to give
to
> >each other?
> >
> >             A: When you get people connected at that level it's hard to
> >maintain those "enemy" images. Nonviolent Communication in its purity is
> >the most powerful, quickest way I've found to get people to go from life
> >alienated ways of thinking where they want to hurt each other, to
enjoying
> >giving to each other.
> >
> >             When you have a couple of people facing each other, Hutu and
> >Tutsi, and their families have been killed by each other, it's amazing
that
> >in two or three hours we can get them nurturing each other. It's
> >inevitable. Inevitable. That's why I use this approach.
> >
> >             It amazes me how simple it is given the amount of suffering
> >that has gone on, and how quickly it can happen. Nonviolent Communication
> >really quickly heals when people have experienced a lot of pain. This
> >motivates me to want to make it happen even more quickly because the way
> >we're doing it now still takes a while.
> >
> >             to top of page
> >
> >             How do we get this done more quickly with the other 800,000
> >Hutus and Tutsis, and the rest of the planet? I would like to explore
what
> >would happen if we could make movies or television shows of this process,
> >because I've seen that when two people go through the process with other
> >people watching, that vicarious learning, healing and reconciliations
> >happen. So I would like to explore ways to use the media to get masses of
> >people to go quickly through this process together.
> >
> >             Have you encountered any cultural or language barriers to
this
> >process?
> >
> >             A: This amazes me how few and how little they are. When I
> >first started to teach this process in another language I really doubted
> >that it could be done. I remember the first time I was in Europe I was
> >going to go first to Munich and then to Geneva. My colleague and I both
> >doubted that we could get this through in another language. She was going
> >to do it in French and I would be there for her to ask me questions if
> >something came up. I was going to at least try to see if we could go
> >through translators. But it worked so well without any problems, and I
find
> >the same thing everywhere. So I just don't worry about it, I'll do it in
> >English and you translate it and it works very well. I can't think of any
> >culture that we've had any problem with other than little things, but not
> >with the essence of it. Not only have we had no problem but also there
are
> >repeated variations of people saying that this is essentially what their
> >religion says. It's old stuff, they know this stuff, and they're grateful
> >for this manifestation, but it's nothing new.
> >
> >             Do you believe a spiritual practice is important for
> >practicing nonviolence?
> >
> >             I recommend in all workshops that people take time to ask
> >themselves this question, "How do I choose to connect with other human
> >beings?" and to be as conscious as they can about that. To make sure it's
> >their choice and not the way they've been programmed to choose. Really,
> >what is the way you would choose to connect with other human beings?
> >
> >             Gratitude also plays a big role for me. If I express
gratitude
> >when I am conscious of the
> >             human act that I want to express it for, consciousness of
how
> >I feel when the act occurs,
> >             whether it's my act or someone else's, and what needs of
mine
> >it fulfills, then expressing gratitude fills me with consciousness of the
> >power that we human beings have to enrich lives. It makes me aware that
we
> >are Divine Energy, that we have such power to make life wonderful, and
that
> >there is nothing we like better than to do just that.
> >
> >             To me, that is powerful evidence of our Divine Energy, that
we
> >have this power to make life so wonderful, and that there is nothing we
> >like more. That's why part of my spiritual practice is just to be
conscious
> >of gratitude.
> >
> >             How basic is this need to give to one another?
> >
> >             I think the need to enrich life is one of the most basic and
> >powerful needs we all have. Now another way to say this is that we need
to
> >act from the Divine Energy within us. And I think that when we "are" that
> >Divine Energy that there is nothing we like more, nothing in which we
find
> >more joy, than enriching life, than using our immense power to enrich
life.
> >
> >             But when we are trying to meet this need of ours to "live"
> >this Divine Energy, trying to contribute to life, there is a request that
> >goes with it. We have a request for feedback
> >             from whichever creature whose life we are trying to enrich.
We
> >want to know in fact, "Is
> >             my intention and my action being fulfilled?" Was there
> >fulfillment?
> >
> >             In our culture that request gets distorted into our thinking
> >that we have a "need" for the other person to love us for what we've
done,
> >to appreciate what we've done, to approve of us for what we've done. And
> >that distorts and screws up the beauty of the whole process. It wasn't
> >their approval that we needed. Our very intent was to use our energy to
> >enrich life. But we need the feedback. How do I know my effort was
> >successful unless I get feedback?
> >
> >             And I can use this feedback to help me know if I am coming
out
> >of Divine Energy. I know that I am coming out of Divine Energy when I
value
> >criticism as much as a thank you.
> >
> >             -Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D.
> >
> >             to top of page
> >         contact cnvc   cnvc sitemap
> >
> >
> >               Subscribe to: NVC QuickConnect
> >
> >              search
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> >
> >
> >
> >
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> >    www.cnvc.org   email cnvc  +1.818.957.9393   © Center for Nonviolent
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> >
>
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