Hi James,
This is exciting!!! I like what you're doing.
But at the moment I'm thinking about form, or a pattern, something subtle 
hidden within the structure of the piece... At the moment it feels as if 
it's doing the right thing, but it could do more, could play more fun games 
with its readers.
What I mean is could you offer examples of the "Wowness" by giving examples 
of all the five sense?
I find smell, hearing, taste... is there a touch that makes for a "wow!" a 
sight that makes for a "wow" as well?
Then the title could be: Each Sense Of Wow - or something that includes that 
or some such phrase, plays with what the poem's doing.
Know what I mean?
Whaddya think?
Bob


>From: James Bell <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New sub: Wow!
>Date: Sat, 17 Sep 2005 10:48:41 +0000
>
>As always an incomplete draft that welcomes comments.
>
>WOW!
>
>Wow! Word rush not like a city crush
>crowded with fumes and odours
>more fresh breath like speaking in tongues
>with an evangelist
>urgent but clear, no barriers,
>the telephone line that is not hemmed in
>with wires
>or electronic signals
>
>Wow! Whisper rather than a shout inside
>a major drought
>water to take a real thirst away without
>additives, bliss on taste
>factor
>you can't buy
>Wow!
>
>
>
>bw
>James