In a message dated 05/02/2005 5:53:57 PM Central Daylight Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:
<<
The Creek
You expected the wide, watercolour scenes,
disputed territories of land and sea,
one white cloud booming across the bay
then nothing but duck-egg blue all day,
so a single tern strung above the shingle beach
is at least something to watch.
But the salt-marsh as a mirror
at every cut and sluice; the redshank’s shrill skedaddle
giving your tired old game away;
the half-hidden wrecks, the drowned bells
the constant sarcasm of the seagulls?
>>
I really do like this work, especially the imagery and the figurative
language. Well done! Think about your title. This does not seem like a creek
setting to me; also, is it possible to make the last stanza a complete sentence?
It is awfully long not to be one. Hope these ideas help. Sue
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