Hi Bob,
I don't think there's much reason to feel uncertain - it seems pretty
polished to me, and I liked it a lot. It's a great overall metaphor because
it immediately calls to mind all sorts of words and phrases - topsy-turvy,
head over heels, upside down - and the various contexts in which they can be
used. And although I read it as a pretty straightforwardly tender love poem,
the physical dimension to it gives it an erotic undertone.
Like Gary, I liked the end of the fourth stanza a lot, but the last stanza
is not far behind.
One nit - at the end of the third stanza, doesn't there need to be something
between "what" and "feel".
Lovely poem though.
Regards,
Matt
-----Original Message-----
From: The Pennine Poetry Works [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf
Of Bob Cooper
Sent: 04 January 2005 19:51
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: The Acrobat's Future
This is an early draft and I'm not at all sure about this... all comments
welcome!
The Acrobat's Future
I'll let your neck stretch and your eyes
look up to the floor so close to your hair
and like when distant explosions announced
that everything we've known will change
I'll turn your world upside down.
I'll smile, let your legs kick the air
as you squeal laughter from your knees,
stretched apart to reveal my head,
through your waist at my waist
and your lungs at my thighs.
Accept, I'll lift you and turn you, hold you
so your only movement is when I move.
Your dowry, your breath, is in my safe hands.
There is nothing else for you in this world
but what feel from where you are.
You can smile for yourself eventually
if the war will leave us. Don't listen
to the bombs, don't watch the TV,
their images are made by magicians
who have their own families to feed.
Those we copy have been here before.
Let the blood that rushes to your head
flush out your smile. Believe
this world is not as crazy as we
who dare to love in these days.
Bob Cooper
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