I think some changes were for the better, and Frank put his finger on how
there were too many "ings". However, I'd like to see "past our lingering"
in stanza 2 and "searching for hand" in the last stanza remain, to make the
link between the two.
R.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Patrick Mc Manus" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Sunday, December 18, 2005 5:01 PM
Subject: Re: revised poem: Adjustments
> Hey surfaced from siest
> May I vote for first version it seems warmer fuller/satisfying to this esp
> last line-doolally pate P seasons greets P-feed cat
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