Sharon:
I'm way behind, but I liked it as a series of stanzas, AND as 3
columns, but in the columns I did note that sometimes one could read
down & it worked & at other points didn't so much. So that there's
already a breakdown in syntax if one reads down. Do you want to edit to
lessen that or not? If not, then you can cut a bit across as well, but
with care, obviously.
I think some of the lines near the end, that approaching earth, are
where the real strength in the poem lies...
Doug
On 26-Jan-05, at 4:38 PM, Stephen Vincent wrote:
>> but should I go all the way, stop
>> worrying entirely about 'sense' and 'order'?
>
> I am all for "sense" - honing down the language into sense, the thing
> itself.
> As different from some allegiance to some prefigured, or assumed
> 'sense of
> order'.
> Yes, use your good sense, always, my motto, tho it might more often
> than not
> come up from behind and kick one hard in the arse.
>
> Or, as in a pair of feet crossing a new landscape - unless one trips
> bad -
> one most likely discovers some sense of direction, order (in the
> process).
>
> Stephen V
> Blog: http://stephenvincent.durationpress.com
>
>
Douglas Barbour
Department of English
University of Alberta
Edmonton Alberta T6G 2E5 Canada
(780) 436 3320
http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/dbhome.htm
Reserved books. Reserved land. Reserved flight.
And still property is theft.
Phyllis Webb
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