Dear Mongolian FiefDom:
First, corrections to your recent communique:
1) You may mean British United Totally Tobacco (BUTT), rather than the
acronymically euphonious but incorrect British United Tobacco Incorporated
(BUTI).
2) Why are you still searching for your foot?
3) "accountant-mentat" is correctly spelled "bookkeeper."
Now I'll address your concerns, DeVoid.
I am delighted to learn of your ability to effectively transcend money, tear
space-time, prematurely collapse, and buy out JISCMAIL.
However, Daffy, you must realize that my acquiescence in your questionable
proposal of my accepting an IOU would expose me to ridicule from my peers of
whom there are none bcuz I am superior to everyone especially you. Not to
mention me getting no money from you at all for the awesome amount of work
that I put in just to come up with 2 actual pages about your sundry and
sordid youthful hijinks which prolly you continue just as bonkery as ever.
You have certainly placed me in a difficult position, Deltoid. I am forced
to consider selling my talently written biography of you as an Unauthorized
Biography to the highest bidder and I think you very well know what that
means bcuz I have my agents in China who assure me that the CEO of TripleDom
who now calls himself Mongolian FiefDom has captured the inquiring minds of
billions of Chinese persons especially those living in my hometown.
You will be pleased to know, on another note entirely, that I have halted
the process by which our universe might otherwise have experienced heat
death by selling ice cubes to Chinese persons in Mongolia. Therefore, you
have 24 hours to tear whatever rent you can find in the space-time fabric
and get that $832.47 to me so that I can fly to UQ real quick, dig?
Honourably yours and not at all attempting to save face in the expected
Chinese ways,
Wang Le Yan, Judy's actual Chinese name
----- Original Message -----
From: "Dominic Fox" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, September 23, 2005 10:31 AM
Subject: Re: [POETRYETC] My former home-poem
Ms Price,
Here at 3Don we have effectively transcended money, by means of
financial practices so sharp they have actually torn a rent (or is
that rent a tear?) in the fabric of space-time.
My accountant-mentat tells me that he can manipulate the world economy
so as to make you $823.47 better off in real terms, but this will
involve precipitating the premature collapse of a number of small
Mongolian fiefdoms and - most regrettably of all - a buyout of
jiscmail by British United Tobacco Incorporated.
A search is afoot for less impactful ways of accomplishing the desired
transfer of wealth but, due to the irreducible complexity of the
world's stock markets, the algorithm employed is known to be
NP-complete and may not terminate before the heat death of the
universe.
Will you accept an IOU?
kind regards,
Dermot
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