Dear Devil,
Of course it will be just fine for you to send me $823.47 in American
dollars for my swimming lessons even though I do not plan to actually take
the lessons. I do not swim and do not wish to swim. I float, and that is
quite sufficient for all my aquatic needs, thank you.
That little episode in your bonkery youth is best described by me---not you,
since you were and admittedly are, still bonkers---in my bio of you for
which you owe me the above-mentioned amount, and quit acting like you can't
afford it bcuz we all know you are a CEO and you know how much money THEY
make.
Just to remind you, gently, of course, as always: THE WAY I SPELL A WORD IS
THE WAY IT SHOULD BE SPELLED AND I DO NOT ALLOW ENCROACHMENT ON MY
AUTHORITY. DO PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, YOUNG MAN, AND DO NOT EMBARRASS
YOURSELF FURTHER.
Julia aka GrammaG
----- Original Message -----
From: "Dominic Fox" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, September 23, 2005 9:21 AM
Subject: Re: [POETRYETC] My former home-poem
Jodie,
I can't stretch to an airfare, but I might be able to contribute
towards swimming lessons. The Atlantic should pose no obstacle to a
lady of your alleged stamina.
I am disappointed that you characterise my _Tractatae_ as a by-product
of "that little epsiode in your youth when you went entirely bonkers".
I was every bit as sane then as I am now. Also, it's spelled
"scatological".
Yours in Jaysis,
Damien
On 9/23/05, judy prince <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Don,
>
> Me and my agent, Patrick McBadManus will respond accordingly (if we can
> manage it) quite soon.
>
> However, it is only reasonable for me to note that you've yet to mail your
> check for my airfare to the United Queendom and back also. It will cost
> your 3Don Corporation only $823.47 (American dollars which are the only
> Correct kind of dollars as anyone knows).
>
> I have been holding in abeyance (and it would be highly inappropriate for
> you to ask just what or where that is) my completed and completely edited
> (by Agent Patrick McBad) biography of you which now consists of 15 pages
> bcuz I had to add a glossary and a NOTES/BIBLIOGRAPHY section due to the
> fact that there is so little to say about you except for that little
> episode
> in your youth when you went entirely bonkers and headed toward
> eschatological research and writings.
>
> We thank you for your attention to my being paid immediately and in
> American
> dollars, please. Then oh then I can fly with the aid of an airplane to
> see
> all my friends of which you are not one, unless of course you pay me for a
> much longer biographical tome about you.
>
> Yours in the spirit of disbelief,
|