Thanks Doug B and Judy for your kind remarks.
Doug says
> A kind of slam snap, Janet, I'd say.
A delayed snap... I wrote it in the evening, but it is a snapshot
of the morning of that day. It is autobiographical, but a little
bit untrue - I dangled my workboots over the Grand Canal Dock,
not the actual Liffey. But I didn't think that had the same ring to it.
> Doug, who especially enjoyed the NOT smooth parts...
Cool... that was my starting point when writing it.
And that part is great to read aloud.
The poem is the second draft. I got down the ideas and then
had time to write a smooth (haha) version.
Janet
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Janet Jackson <[log in to unmask]>
Poems at Proximity:
http://www.arach.net.au/~huxtable/janet/proximity.html
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> On 21-Jul-05, at 12:26 AM, Janet Jackson wrote:
>
> > I'm still here - just been too busy to contribute lately.
> >
> > Here is a poem written at a "slam" during my recent trip to Dublin.
> > The format was that five words were randomly chosen (by being
> > called out by the audience). They were: bleach, salt, smooth, sound,
> > flaps.
> > During the break you had to write something involving these words,
> > then you declaimed it afterwards and a couple of the more, er, senior
> > people acted as judges. And guess what...I won!
> > This shows that I *can* write under the influence of alcohol...
> > but you might disagree.
> >
> > Quay
> > ----
> >
> > Cranes creak and clatter
> > Concrete trucks trundle and splatter
> > Gull flaps, screeching
> > Boat rots, bleaching
> >
> > I on old stone dangle my workboots over the Liffey and
> > it is NOT smooth.
> > The river is NOT smooth.
> > The sound around me and in my head is NOT smooth
> > The old stone is NOT smooth
> > but the new buildings
> > the new buildings are gonna be SO smooth,
> > SO soundless.
> >
> > Like Leopold Bloom I walk along
> > the quay and what sun there is bleaches
> > me pale and Dublin's stone, water, mud bleaches
> > the sound out of me, sucks
> > the wet salt of the Liffey
> > out of my eyes.
> >
> > Janet
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