Only one more book to go. Personally, I hope for the following outcomes:
i) Harry finds out he's gay, thanks to Snape who finally confesses his
secret love for the plucky young wizard before initiating him into the
erotic secrets of pugnomancy and wand-play.
ii) Quidditch is banned after a team of statisticians from the
Ministry of Magic point out that the scoring system is, like, totally
whack.
iii) Hogwarts scores very badly in its OFSTED report, and is placed
under special measures. Private investment is sought to turn the
school into a City Academy, sponsored by Accenture and Bernard
Matthews and specialising in Teenage Pregnancy Prevention and How To
Win At Big Brother.
iv) Hermione leaves Hogwarts to take up a place on a Women's Studies
course at East Sussex University, becomes deputy women's officer at
the NUS, spends half her time demonstrating condom use to gormless
freshers and the other half trying to get Nuts and Zoo banned from the
shop in the student union.
v) Voldemort appointed Attorney General by Bush, following death of
Alberto Gonzalez in mysterious circumstances; Death Eaters appointed
to senior positions in CIA, generally over prone bodies of previous
incumbents; Bush hails new research into "prestidigitatious
techniques" as having particular utility in the ongoing "War On
Impurity".
Dominic
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