It's called a "Handy" in German - which rather brings out the 
masturbatory aspect of the thing. I'm all for masturbating, but I don't 
do it loudly in public unless I get paid a lot. I hate all phones, but 
cell phones come right after automobiles in inspiring in me a vicious 
murderous hate of them and their drivelling  servant- owners. One thing 
about living in the village that time forgot is that you never hear a 
cellphone conversation except when you make the mistake of going to the 
restaurant in the tourist season (when they're open). I've got a little 
list (and they'd none of them be missed)...
- What does "he got his scrips filled" mean?
mj
Ken Wolman wrote:

> deborah russell wrote:
>
>> I'm not sure if they fry your brain, but after two weeks without a 
>> mobile, I've stopped putting my cigarettes out in my coffee. (as much)
>>
>>> I suppose that I am the only one without a mobile phone ?????
>>> Do they really cook brains ? might explain a few things here??
>>> Has Robbie H got one and David B and esp gorgeous Omnia??
>>
>>
> Like alcohol, narcotics, and tobacco, the cell phone is demonic and 
> cause those who use it to be possessed by demons.  Jesus did not drive 
> the demons from the crazyman in the graveyard into a pack of swine.  
> He drove them into a display of cell phones in The Sprint and Verizon 
> Stores.  I got my first cell phone because I had undiagnosed and 
> untreated bipolar disorder.  In other words I was crazy as a shithouse 
> rat.  Why else get one?  Sane people do not need to be open to phone 
> calls 24x7 unless they are drug dealers or actors (there's a 
> difference?).
>
> I am not alone in this.  I worked with a Deutsche Bank consultant 
> around the same time who had THREE phones in his car.  He brought one 
> into church with him on Ash Wednesday 1999.  As the priest was 
> prounouncing the formula "From dust didst thou come, to dust thou 
> shalt return" this guy's phone rang.  At the altar.  I said to him 
> "Y'know, there are three times when you don't need to have it on.  
> When you're getting ashes in church.  When you're taking a dump.  When 
> you're making love to your wife."  But I'm sure he did all three anyway.
>
> Phones are a symptom.  Just like drugs and alcohol.  Someone stole my 
> first phone within two weeks.  A guy named Candido Velez belt-picked 
> me on the bus to the Newark train station.  I flipped and began 
> hunting him down, my intent was to kill him.  Me, the modern day Wally 
> Cox.  See, his ex-girlfriend was one of the phone numbers, she lived 
> in West Virginia.  She informed me that Candido had done felony time 
> there for car theft (her car) and beating up her and her daughter.  
> Candido was working in New York, supposedly, as a chauffeur out of a 
> garage in upper Manhattan.  I called the garage and asked for him.  I 
> was told he did not work there.  I knew the guy who answered the phone 
> was lying, but that little voice of sanity which occasionally asserted 
> itself said "KEN, BAIL!!"  Ken did.  He got his scrips filled 
> instead.  Better than nothing.
>
> I should have known what would happen.  Now it's an addiction.  
> Electronic junk.  Wireless grain alcohol.  When my Sprint contract 
> expired in August I could have made the brave decision to let people 
> call me at home or go away.  Instead I opted for a company called 
> Working Assets.  Progressive causes, Ben & Jerry's fat food, crappy 
> service, and hidden charges...all on Sprint airwaves!  But now I'm 
> addicted.
>
> The big secret is the reception on most cell phones is awful.  But ya 
> gotta look Important.  Important?  When 14-year-old female mall rats 
> are running around with their Britney bare midriffs cell-phoning their 
> gynaecologists, or my piss-ant community college students come in with 
> red see-thru phones they refuse to turn off, then who is Important?  A 
> couple of weeks ago one of my "students" had his phone go off in 
> class.  Again, for the third time in two weeks.  Instead of just 
> staring at the kid (Ken the Basilisk), I snapped "Turn that f-----g 
> thing off."  He looked surprised I'd use "bad language."  And that's 
> WITH the meds-).
>
> I wonder what life would be like without an aptly-named "cell" phone.
>
> ken
>

-- 
M.J.Walker - no blog - no webpage - no idea

Nous ne faisons que nous entregloser. - Montaigne