> > Today in glitzy catalogues,
> > in thinny-thin women
> > tight jeans, halter tops,
> > you have your inheritors,
> > so much a falling-off.
> >
> > Your glance not surly or
> > even a challenge,
> > no pout, no moue,
> > the glance perhaps
> > unintended openness,
>
> PS - and instead of repeating "the glance" in st. 2, why not just
> "perhaps an unintended openness"?
I agree with that, but not with Frederick's other suggestion.
I liked that line "thinny-thin women"; I think you'd lose something
by deleting it.
Janet
(I seem to be back)
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Janet Jackson <[log in to unmask]>
Poems at Proximity:
http://www.arach.net.au/~huxtable/janet/proximity.html
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