My Carlos has had his bouts of aggressiveness, but only with other boys,
and less so (it was rarely a problem) as he's aged. He's always, starting
in early childhood, had lots of very devoted, close friendships, as many at
least with girls as with boys. Recently a girl he played doctor with when
they were veryu young came back into his life, hence mine--her mother had
distanced herself from all of her husband's associates after his suicide
when the girl was 7 or 8. She's a lovely grownup, with an equally lovely
boyfriend. For Carlos it's as if they'd never lost contact (tho the
stethescope will probably stay in the cupboard).
Among his age group in his place and class boys and girls didn't so much
date as roam in coed packs, and I don't think he's unusaul in that
environment, except for his being of course the most loveable.
Mark
At 06:21 PM 2/17/2005, you wrote:
>On 18/2/05 3:24 AM, "Dominic Fox" <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> > It has been and remains one of the mightier labours of feminism to
> > denormalise sexual aggression among human males, to get rid of the
> > "metaphysics of force" that says that using force is just part of what
> > sex is for males and that being subject to force is just part of what
> > sex is for females. If you didn't spot the Andrea Dworkin reference
> > coming, you weren't paying attention. She's all about that
> > "metaphysics of force", and the need to elaborate an ethic/aesthetic
> > that doesn't enshrine violent coercion at the very heart of sex.
>
>_Some_ feminisms. (Does Camille Paglia count as a feminist? She must...)
>
>Interesting though watching my oldest boy grow up. He's not that unusual, I
>don't think; but he does have a real distaste for male aggression, although
>he can be aggressive himself, if only as a smartarse. His friends are
>similar. Luckily he's tall, and unlikely to be picked on (I remember that
>young men are much more likely to suffer from some kind of aggressive
>violence than young women). He seems such a delicate flower (though how he
>would hate my saying that!) compared to the tough girls he's surrounded by.
>Might I say, much more emotionally honest, and more gentle. He values girls
>as friends, and has a lot of female mates (as we say here). His sister, on
>the other hand, complains about boys who won't be friends with her once she
>rejects them as potential boyfriends; only one boy has insisted on remaining
>friends. This bothers her; she likes to have boys as friends, and refuses
>to have boyfriends because they get all proprietal (wish I had been so
>hardnosed at her age). Anecdotal empirical observations, of course, and
>therefore fairly useless in any general sense; but it does confirm my
>feeling that the socialisation of teens is heavily conditioned by their
>immediate environments. Some boys just have trouble regarding girls as
>fellow human beings, and that attitude, which depends on their interactions
>during their childhoods and teen years, would, I suggest, have a lot of to
>with the "metaphysics of force".
>
>Best
>
>A
>
>Alison Croggon
>
>Blog: http://theatrenotes.blogspot.com
>Editor, Masthead: http://masthead.net.au
>Home page: http://alisoncroggon.com
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