i must be a maosochist.
i liked these.
i laughed.
On Mon, 31 Jan 2005 12:33:16 +1100, Alison Croggon
<[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> For your edification -
>
> Best
>
> A
>
> ------ Forwarded Message
>
> 1.Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead racoons.
> The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one
> carrion allowed per passenger."
>
> 2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says
> "Dam!".
>
> 3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
> craft.
> Unsurprisingly, it sank proving once again that you can't have your
> kayak
> and heat it too.
>
> 4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron."
> The other says "Are you sure?"
> The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
>
> 5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
> canal?
>
> His goal: transcend dental medication.
>
> 6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing
> in
> the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
>
> After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them
> to
> disperse.
> "But, why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't
> stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
>
> 7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to
> a
> family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in
> Spain
> and is named "Juan."
> Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon
> receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also
> had a
> picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen
> Juan,
> you've seen Ahmal."
>
> 8. Some friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a
> small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers
> from
> the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was
> unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He
> went
> back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him.
>
> So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most
> vicious
> thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and
> trashed
> their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.
> Terrified,
> they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
>
> 9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
> produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
> little,
> which made him rather frail and ,with his odd diet, he suffered
> from bad breath.
>
> This made him ..(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good).....
> A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
>
> ------ End of Forwarded Message
>
--
Sharon Brogan
http://www.sbpoet.com
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