THE MAN WHO AUCTIONED SPOUSAL RIGHTS TO HIS PENSION ON
EBAY
(For Patrick McManus, and all other
currently unmarried pensioners)
Right, he thought, why should the company claw all my
pension back when I’m dead? If I were married, my
wife would get 50% while she was alive.
I know, he further thought, I’ll auction it on eBay.
The younger they are, the longer they’ll live, and the
more they’ll get. Must be a twenty-five year old
somewhere who’d pay good money for that. Perhaps I
could even enforce my conjugal rights afterwards. Hm …
Here goes.
In due course, for a really quite considerable sum, a
blushing maiden married his pension.
A few days later, as he stood on the edge of a station
platform, the young lady’s brother precipitated him in
front of an onrushing train.
His widow sobbed copiously at his funeral (paid for
from the proceeds of the eBay auction).
ROBIN HAMILTON
|