Yes of course, but I liked the specificity, the personal detail, the
bringing back *home.
joanna
----- Original Message -----
From: "Frank Parker" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Sunday, December 18, 2005 1:08 PM
Subject: Re: revised poem: Adjustments
> Hi, Joanna,
>
> A hand in hand "is" a warm thing, IMO, no?
>
> Cheers,
> Frank
>
> ***************************
> Frank Parker
> [log in to unmask]
> http://frankshome.org
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Joanna Boulter" <[log in to unmask]>
> To: <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: Sunday, December 18, 2005 4:08 AM
> Subject: Re: revised poem: Adjustments
>
>
>> Lovely poem.
>>
>> I miss the warm hand from the original version, though.
>>
>> joanna
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> > thanks to Frank Parker's excellent suggestions to toss "ings" and other
>> > bits, here's revised poem:
>> >
>> >
>> > Adjustments
>> >
>> >
>> > a light
>> > in this inked passage
>> > urges us ahead
>> >
>> > past our
>> > loose partitions
>> > our torn histories
>> >
>> > through yellowed halls
>> > walls shrink
>> > and stretch
>> > our future
>> >
>> > we match
>> > patterned papers
>> > dying colours
>> > worn places
>> >
>> > we hang mirrors
>> > at every room end
>> > face ourselves
>> > in infinity
>> >
>> > close space
>> > turn time inside
>> > search for hand
>> > in hand
>> >
>> > ~~~~~
>> > Judy Prince
>> > 18.12.05
>> > Loughborough UK
>> >
>>
>>
>
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