This is interestingly different for you Janet, at least in my
experience of your writing.
I'm not sure of all the 'too's yet like the way they throw me off; I
think I have the same feeling about the brackets, which do sort of
work, yet I find both '(home[coming])' AND 'everybody sing' a bit toop
much -- a kind of falling into sentimentality....
Doug
On 24-Oct-05, at 12:46 AM, Janet Jackson wrote:
> Third draft
>
> four stones are enough
> ----------------------
>
> too care - never enough
> blare, flare - weep
> too sung to wear
> cold drum - never
> too stare - scare
> too many eyes too deep
>
> one never-enough river is ever
> enough sketches, enough skin and bones, enough
> stones. four stones are enough
>
> because one is (love [a]live) listen
> one two is (wet [me]) walk
> one two three is (drown[ing]) dance
> and one two three four is (home[coming]) everybody sing
>
> Janet
> ------------------------------------------------------
> Janet Jackson <[log in to unmask]>
> Poems at Proximity:
> http://www.arach.net.au/~huxtable/janet/proximity.html
> ------------------------------------------------------
>
>
Douglas Barbour
11655 - 72 Avenue NW
Edmonton Ab T6G 0B9
(780) 436 3320
All day long the heart’s
dark bud unfurls
coils for its quick season
-- How could I forget
you, Heart?
Diana Hartog
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