Ken,
I have been reading this thread intermittently and so have not been
following the particulars of it, though I should say that I do think your
poem is quite powerful. This recent post in which you talk about wanting to
write from inside other people, particularly people who are criminal or
cruel or what people might describe as inhuman makes me wonder if you've
ever read Ai's work. She does that a lot, not always successfully, and I
haven't read her in years--I think I read her second and third books and
found those most moving and convincing--but she might be someone to look at
in terms of what works, what doesn't, strategies and so on.
These kinds of poems are very important to write. Keep at it--
Richard
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