No need to presume that I am blonde, Mark; I stated it in an earlier
message to you.
I appreciate your detailed response that shows you didn't intend to offend
women.
I realized AFTER I had clicked on "send" that of course you meant San Diego
as that which you'd earned the right to "dis." I credit my "emotion of the
moment" with that gaffe.
I hope you can imagine that my heightened sensitivity to blonde jokes and to
jokes about blacks comes from my being a blonde, and my husband and son
being black. There is too much painful history known and felt to permit my
standing by without calling a gender or racial attack to the attention of
the source.
I've heard white women, black women, and black men dealt verbal blows that
they have had to take for fear of losing their livelihoods or their lives.
And every sexist and racist statement bludgeoned their self-respect. That
kind of learned sensitivity to remarks comes at great cost, and it is why I
feel it only fair for others to find a measure of sensitivity in their
words. It's not particularly easy, and I struggle with it often, but it's
well worth every effort made.
Thanks for what I'm reading as your apology,
Judy still blonde, and no longer angry with you
----- Original Message -----
From: "Mark Weiss" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Wednesday, September 21, 2005 8:50 PM
Subject: Re: [POETRYETC] My former home
> This is certainly a serious business. In the world at large increasingly
> people shoot first then read. I would have hoped that on a list like
> poetryetc., all of whose members are in the business of words, things
> might be different, but apparently one can't assume that even brief
> messages will be read accurately.
>
> 1. Neither blonde nor southern California are genders.
> 2. This isn't a joke, it's a news story.
> 3. I have a long record of respect for blondes. My father was blonde, I
> see a strawberry blonde in the mirror, especially in sunny seasons, and
> I've marries two blondes, both of whom were pretty bright. I'm not aware,
> however, that blondes have a particular need for compassion, particularly
> in this racist country.
> 4. I left the last sentence on the story out of a sense of scrupulousness
> about even so minor an instance of censorship, but I made it pretty clear
> that I disagreed with the sentiment, to whit (typos included): "The
> reportewr apparently thought that the signal fact was the woman's blond
> hair. I'm pretyty sure it's where she lives."
> 5. How could you not understand that in the sentence "It's a San Diego
> story, and that prejudice I've earned the right to" the prejudice in
> question is about San Diego, where I used to live (hence the subject
> heading)?
> 6. Nine years of hard time any place entitles one to make jokes about it.
> And SoCal has given us Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan, and Arnold
> Schwarzenegger, to name a few.
> 7. Please don't invoke God, or for that matter god. Have you no compassion
> for atheists?
>
>
> But maybe I stumbled inadvertently on a sensitivity so festering that it
> makes even seeing the words on a screen difficult. Am I to presume that
> you're blonde?
>
> Mark
>
>
> At 07:21 PM 9/21/2005, you wrote:
>>Mark,
>>
>>You well know that I love humour, but this is a serious issue, and it
>>deserves your serious attention. If you cannot "own" your purpose for
>>reproducing the sexist AP story, then you can at least apologize for your
>>poor judgment.
>>
>>I don't know what you mean by "that prejudice I've earned the right to,"
>>but I can only reason that you mean you've earned the right to be sexist.
>>Have you veered so far off the course of logic and compassion? I hope to
>>God you haven't.
>>
>>Judy
>>
>>
>>----- Original Message ----- From: "Mark Weiss" <[log in to unmask]>
>>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>>Sent: Wednesday, September 21, 2005 6:37 PM
>>Subject: Re: [POETRYETC] My former home
>>
>>
>>>You and Steve should clean your glasses. I distanced myself from that
>>>line in the news report. It's a San Diego story, and that prejudice I've
>>>earned the right to.
>>>
>>>Mark
>>>
>>>
>>>At 05:42 PM 9/21/2005, you wrote:
>>>>Yeah, Mark, I DITTO Stephen's first sentence---and then some!
>>>>
>>>>WE (that would be ME, the royal We, the Prince-ly We) demand an
>>>>explanation of your "sharing" with us that dumbblondejoke----no, we
>>>>demand your explanation AND we ask for your resignation from modern life
>>>>which, by the way, started after 1955, when those jokes were as
>>>>acceptable as Steppinfetchitjokes. What the hell were you thinking?!
>>>>
>>>>I'm waiting, Mark.
>>>>
>>>>Judy, a blonde
>>>>
>>>>----- Original Message ----- From: "Stephen Vincent"
>>>><[log in to unmask]>
>>>>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>Sent: Wednesday, September 21, 2005 5:17 PM
>>>>Subject: Re: [POETRYETC] My former home
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>>This proves in, Mark. You are the ultimate "dough-boy" - purveying the
>>>>>ultimate "dumb blond" joke at least six years after that fashion is
>>>>>long
>>>>>gone.
>>>>>We now send you off to Texas to join a band of fellow dough-boys to
>>>>>sing
>>>>>"Lovely Rita" in counter-spiral alto harmonies to send the oncoming
>>>>>hurricane back into the heavens. Enjoy.
>>>>>
>>>>>By the way, is Crawford in the path? Or does Crawford even exist. Or is
>>>>>it
>>>>>just another "dough patch"?
>>>>>
>>>>>Your sing-a-long dog,
>>>>>
>>>>>Stephen V
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>>The stry below was reported on crazynews.net, which claims that they
>>>>>>picked
>>>>>>it up from Associated Press. Probably true-- one doesn't ess with AP
>>>>>>or its
>>>>>>lawyers.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>The reportewr apparently thought that the signal fact was the woman's
>>>>>>blond
>>>>>>hair. I'm pretyty sure it's where she lives.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Mark
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Lisa Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws,
>>>>>>and
>>>>>>while thre went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.
>>>>>>Several
>>>>>>people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and
>>>>>>her
>>>>>>eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer
>>>>>>who
>>>>>>had been in the store for a while became concerned and walked over to
>>>>>>the
>>>>>>car. He noticed that Lisa's eyes were now open, and she looked very
>>>>>>strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Lisa replied that she'd
>>>>>>been
>>>>>>shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for
>>>>>>over
>>>>>>an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because
>>>>>>the
>>>>>>door was locked and Lisa refused to remove her hands from her head.
>>>>>>When
>>>>>>they finally got in, they found that Lisa had a wad of bread dough on
>>>>>>the
>>>>>>back of her head... A Pillsbury biscuit cannister had exploded from
>>>>>>the
>>>>>>heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of
>>>>>>dough
>>>>>>hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out
>>>>>>what it
>>>>>>was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially
>>>>>>passed
>>>>>>out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an
>>>>>>hour
>>>>>>until someone noticed and came to her aid. Lisa is blonde.
>
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