I tended to agree with those who really liked the final lines. I think,
I'd take away even more of those 'lot's, letting them be felt without
being seen, I guess.
Doug
On 22-Aug-05, at 7:42 PM, Andrew Burke wrote:
> Yeah, like it a lot (couldn't resist).
>
> Maybe take away the 'lot' in the second line? 'we each have our own'
> ...
> doesn't labour the point so much.
>
> Andrew
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "SB" <[log in to unmask]>
> To: <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: Tuesday, August 23, 2005 3:00 AM
> Subject: lots [poem]
>
>
> this is my lot
> we each have our own lot
>
> a lot is a sheaf of wheat
> from our father's field
>
>
Douglas Barbour
11655 - 72 Avenue NW
Edmonton Ab T6G 0B9
(780) 436 3320
Certain gardens are described as retreats when they are really attacks.
Ian Hamilton Finlay
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