Like we've got now, you mean?
What would the half-educated (to use Fowler's term) use? We might suppose
that the 7/16th educated would default to the 'lower' but would the 16/16ths
think that the 9/16ths were sufficiently competent to speak 16/16th?
P
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Poetryetc provides a venue for a dialogue relating to
> poetry and poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On
> Behalf Of Dominic Fox
> Sent: 23 August 2005 16:19
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: Some language oddities in progress
>
> My cure is to split English into two languages, "low" and
> "high" English.
>
> "Low" English would use a phonetic spelling system,
> incorporate "texting" idioms, be written largely as it was
> spoken, and employ minimal punctuation (full stop, question
> mark, and three exclamation marks together!!!).
>
> "High" English would be a significantly more formal version
> of the English written by the minority of "correct" users of
> the language as it is today. It would include the complete
> roster of demonstrably nonsensical rules forbidding things
> like split infinitives and the placement of prepositions at
> the end of a sentence. Extra marks would be given for
> Latinate word-order, even - indeed, especially - where this
> obscured the meaning of a sentence.
>
> Users of "low" English would be exempt from all criticisms of
> usage, whereas users of "high" English would be obliged to
> correct the errors of any other "high" English speaker
> whenever the occasion demanded.
>
> The two languages would be encouraged to evolve apart: "low"
> English would get the encyclopedia of sexual slang, the
> glossary of urban violence, and the contents of Roger's
> Profanisaurus. "High" English would get ever-more fancy ways
> of avoiding saying what one really means.
>
> Rigorous policing of the two language communities would be
> carried out by their members: accidental usage of a "high"
> English idiom by a "low" English speaker would be punished by
> being called a "fucking poofy twat", whilst the corresponding
> infraction by a "high" English speaker would result in the
> polite laughter, withering looks from spouses and/or
> long-term cohabitees, and in the case of repeated offences
> the withholding of dinner party invitations, until such time
> as the miscreant's manners were to improve.
>
> Poetry written in "low" English would rhyme, in couplets, and
> would typically be yelped at high speed over a hip-hop beat
> incorporating a looped sample of some cheesy 70s pop hit.
> Poetry written in "high"
> English would be delivered in low, incantatory tones to the
> accompaniment of creaking plastic chairs, occasional murmurs
> and chuckles of appreciation and, towards the end of the
> recitation, an intermittent light snoring.
>
> Dominic
>
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