MONSTER RAMMY FLYTING
(vaguely after BEOWULF ll. 449-558)
The big yin got tae Heorot, nae problem:
"Ahm here fur the monster rammy, but."
"Aye," grunted Unferth intae his beard,
"Aw we bloody need.
Soddin mental that yin.
Think's he's a hard man:
Aw haw, aw the way frae Brigton."
"So," said Unferth, "come tae deal wi yon
Grendel bummer, huv yi?"
"Hear yi hid a match wi Brecca,
swimming or something?"
"Aye," smarmed Beowulf, buffin his nails
oan his sleeve,
"No a bad show, that."
So Unferth spoke
(pittin the semantic heid oan Wulfy):
"See you, yi couldnae swim
across a puddle in ra fog."
There wiz Beowulf, face like a midden,
glowrin somethin awfu --
till he came back wi a pit-doon:
"Despite yir gallus wit, Unferth, yir damned."
Then Beowulf spoke:
"See us a pint o heavy, jimmy,
an Ahl tell youz aw
how it *really* wiz ... "
TAE BE CONTINUED
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