I certainly agree with your last paragraph, Mark.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Mark Weiss" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Wednesday, September 21, 2005 10:30 PM
Subject: Re: [POETRYETC] My former home
> No need to expect an apology from me--I never apologize when I'm wrongly
> accused of bigotry or insensitivity.
>
> But I accept yours.
>
> We all have reasons to be hyper-sensitive. We nonetheless need to put our
> sensitivities aside long enough to know if there's in factr anything to be
> upset about. Otherwise even the scant possibilities for human society
> disappear.
>
> Mark
>
>
> At 10:14 PM 9/21/2005, you wrote:
>>No need to presume that I am blonde, Mark; I stated it in an earlier
>>message to you.
>>
>>I appreciate your detailed response that shows you didn't intend to offend
>>women.
>>
>>I realized AFTER I had clicked on "send" that of course you meant San
>>Diego as that which you'd earned the right to "dis." I credit my "emotion
>>of the moment" with that gaffe.
>>
>>I hope you can imagine that my heightened sensitivity to blonde jokes and
>>to jokes about blacks comes from my being a blonde, and my husband and son
>>being black. There is too much painful history known and felt to permit
>>my standing by without calling a gender or racial attack to the attention
>>of the source.
>>
>>I've heard white women, black women, and black men dealt verbal blows that
>>they have had to take for fear of losing their livelihoods or their lives.
>>And every sexist and racist statement bludgeoned their self-respect. That
>>kind of learned sensitivity to remarks comes at great cost, and it is why
>>I feel it only fair for others to find a measure of sensitivity in their
>>words. It's not particularly easy, and I struggle with it often, but it's
>>well worth every effort made.
>>
>>Thanks for what I'm reading as your apology,
>>
>>Judy still blonde, and no longer angry with you
>>
>>----- Original Message ----- From: "Mark Weiss" <[log in to unmask]>
>>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>>Sent: Wednesday, September 21, 2005 8:50 PM
>>Subject: Re: [POETRYETC] My former home
>>
>>
>>>This is certainly a serious business. In the world at large increasingly
>>>people shoot first then read. I would have hoped that on a list like
>>>poetryetc., all of whose members are in the business of words, things
>>>might be different, but apparently one can't assume that even brief
>>>messages will be read accurately.
>>>
>>>1. Neither blonde nor southern California are genders.
>>>2. This isn't a joke, it's a news story.
>>>3. I have a long record of respect for blondes. My father was blonde, I
>>>see a strawberry blonde in the mirror, especially in sunny seasons, and
>>>I've marries two blondes, both of whom were pretty bright. I'm not aware,
>>>however, that blondes have a particular need for compassion, particularly
>>>in this racist country.
>>>4. I left the last sentence on the story out of a sense of scrupulousness
>>>about even so minor an instance of censorship, but I made it pretty clear
>>>that I disagreed with the sentiment, to whit (typos included): "The
>>>reportewr apparently thought that the signal fact was the woman's blond
>>>hair. I'm pretyty sure it's where she lives."
>>>5. How could you not understand that in the sentence "It's a San Diego
>>>story, and that prejudice I've earned the right to" the prejudice in
>>>question is about San Diego, where I used to live (hence the subject
>>>heading)?
>>>6. Nine years of hard time any place entitles one to make jokes about it.
>>>And SoCal has given us Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan, and Arnold
>>>Schwarzenegger, to name a few.
>>>7. Please don't invoke God, or for that matter god. Have you no
>>>compassion for atheists?
>>>
>>>
>>>But maybe I stumbled inadvertently on a sensitivity so festering that it
>>>makes even seeing the words on a screen difficult. Am I to presume that
>>>you're blonde?
>>>
>>>Mark
>>>
>>>
>>>At 07:21 PM 9/21/2005, you wrote:
>>>>Mark,
>>>>
>>>>You well know that I love humour, but this is a serious issue, and it
>>>>deserves your serious attention. If you cannot "own" your purpose for
>>>>reproducing the sexist AP story, then you can at least apologize for
>>>>your poor judgment.
>>>>
>>>>I don't know what you mean by "that prejudice I've earned the right to,"
>>>>but I can only reason that you mean you've earned the right to be
>>>>sexist. Have you veered so far off the course of logic and compassion?
>>>>I hope to God you haven't.
>>>>
>>>>Judy
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>----- Original Message ----- From: "Mark Weiss" <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>Sent: Wednesday, September 21, 2005 6:37 PM
>>>>Subject: Re: [POETRYETC] My former home
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>>You and Steve should clean your glasses. I distanced myself from that
>>>>>line in the news report. It's a San Diego story, and that prejudice
>>>>>I've earned the right to.
>>>>>
>>>>>Mark
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>At 05:42 PM 9/21/2005, you wrote:
>>>>>>Yeah, Mark, I DITTO Stephen's first sentence---and then some!
>>>>>>
>>>>>>WE (that would be ME, the royal We, the Prince-ly We) demand an
>>>>>>explanation of your "sharing" with us that dumbblondejoke----no, we
>>>>>>demand your explanation AND we ask for your resignation from modern
>>>>>>life which, by the way, started after 1955, when those jokes were as
>>>>>>acceptable as Steppinfetchitjokes. What the hell were you thinking?!
>>>>>>
>>>>>>I'm waiting, Mark.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Judy, a blonde
>>>>>>
>>>>>>----- Original Message ----- From: "Stephen Vincent"
>>>>>><[log in to unmask]>
>>>>>>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>>>Sent: Wednesday, September 21, 2005 5:17 PM
>>>>>>Subject: Re: [POETRYETC] My former home
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>>This proves in, Mark. You are the ultimate "dough-boy" - purveying
>>>>>>>the
>>>>>>>ultimate "dumb blond" joke at least six years after that fashion is
>>>>>>>long
>>>>>>>gone.
>>>>>>>We now send you off to Texas to join a band of fellow dough-boys to
>>>>>>>sing
>>>>>>>"Lovely Rita" in counter-spiral alto harmonies to send the oncoming
>>>>>>>hurricane back into the heavens. Enjoy.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>By the way, is Crawford in the path? Or does Crawford even exist. Or
>>>>>>>is it
>>>>>>>just another "dough patch"?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Your sing-a-long dog,
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Stephen V
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>The stry below was reported on crazynews.net, which claims that they
>>>>>>>>picked
>>>>>>>>it up from Associated Press. Probably true-- one doesn't ess with AP
>>>>>>>>or its
>>>>>>>>lawyers.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>The reportewr apparently thought that the signal fact was the
>>>>>>>>woman's blond
>>>>>>>>hair. I'm pretyty sure it's where she lives.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>Mark
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>Lisa Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws,
>>>>>>>>and
>>>>>>>>while thre went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.
>>>>>>>>Several
>>>>>>>>people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and
>>>>>>>>her
>>>>>>>>eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One
>>>>>>>>customer who
>>>>>>>>had been in the store for a while became concerned and walked over
>>>>>>>>to the
>>>>>>>>car. He noticed that Lisa's eyes were now open, and she looked very
>>>>>>>>strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Lisa replied that she'd
>>>>>>>>been
>>>>>>>>shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for
>>>>>>>>over
>>>>>>>>an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car
>>>>>>>>because the
>>>>>>>>door was locked and Lisa refused to remove her hands from her head.
>>>>>>>>When
>>>>>>>>they finally got in, they found that Lisa had a wad of bread dough
>>>>>>>>on the
>>>>>>>>back of her head... A Pillsbury biscuit cannister had exploded from
>>>>>>>>the
>>>>>>>>heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad
>>>>>>>>of dough
>>>>>>>>hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out
>>>>>>>>what it
>>>>>>>>was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially
>>>>>>>>passed
>>>>>>>>out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over
>>>>>>>>an hour
>>>>>>>>until someone noticed and came to her aid. Lisa is blonde.
>
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