Thanks, I'm glad you like it! A collaboration sounds great.
The bars ( ___________ ) in this poem do ask to filled, and also serve as
non-verbal pauses. Here they are akin to the virgules in my "Lives of
Eminent Assyrians"
Fall 2004 http://xpressed.org/
The virgules ( / ) in "Lives of Eminent Assyrians" can have various
functions, one function being opening a space that is a compression of
wider, more conspicuous places in poems such as Mallarmé's "Un Coup de dés
jamais n'abolira le hasard". Also the viriguled lines may be read as
virgules between other lines (even the viriguled lines). The spaces between
stanzas may be read in the same fashion as the spaces in the viriguled
lines. Etc.
The intent and function of bars "in the palace, not a piece is left
___________ of Occasion's mad altar" are, I think, more obvious than the
virgules in "Assyrians", as are the variants that can be added
(collaboration, insertion of pictures, etc). The abbreviation of "with" in
lines 2 and 12 refer to the virgules in "Assyrians".
Errata: Quotation marks were accidentally omitted from before the word "shy"
in line five. I've pasted the corrected poem below.
thou vain _________________ as the owl is vain, "hoo, hoo,
hoo, hoo, come to _________________ the hills, human w/ lyres,
for, below, crystal devils _________________ in palaces starve
your amazed mourns _________________" -- yes, starved, as
Elisha's she-bears never _________________ were! "shy praise,
are you not _________________ tired of falls, prat- & otherwise?"
answer _________________ must that author answer? Jeff will
give you, author, _________________ ribbons & laces such as
delight Virginia _________________ in her tomb among the
Triple Clouds _________________ above the hills, come and
hearse palaces aborne your _________________ back, tell her
of one _________________ sick heart w/ remembrance of riddles
empty as _________________ the hesitation of tempests, tempests
hesitating, then _________________ tempests' wind invents pleasures
that night _________________ receives, &, in the midst of day, night does
bear _________________ lyres away, and your mourns, amazed still, starved
still, are in the palaces, ask _________________ Virginia, of crystal devils
still
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