NO NEED FOR APPROVAL, ONLY ALIGNMENT
"People who want the most approval get the least
and people who need approval the least get the most."
~ Wayne Dyer
It has been said that people who seek the most approval are those who feel
the most powerless, and, those who seek approval the least, feel the most
powerful. This is true isn't it? I can identify with this first hand because
there was a time in my life when I relied exclusively on the approval of
just about everyone on the planet. Being addicted to a need for approval can
be much like a drug addiction.
I must say, it felt great when I got the approval I was seeking...I actually
felt powerful and I craved more of it, (which just like a drug was always a
temporary fix) and, when I didn't get that approval, I felt worthless,
powerless and weak...like an invalid.
Feeling powerless is an invalidating experience, isn't it? So, what is a
person who feels powerless to do?
If he is into wearing masks he becomes whatever he thinks he needs to be in
the eyes of those whom he believes holds his power.
In other words, he slips on the mask of the "Pleaser"...the same mask worn
by the person who fears being honest with others; the only difference is; he
fears being honest with himself(herself)-he/she is not honouring who he/she
knows themselves to be at some level and it weakens his sense of self-
There is an Authentic Self at the core of his being that is not seeking
approval from others; It seeks only alignment with Life. It has been there
since the day he was born, gently nudging but never pushing-quietly awaiting
the day of Self-discovery, which may or may not come in this lifetime.
We begin the "training" to wear this mask at a very early age.....
As parents and, teachers 'care-givers and educators' etc 'we' each our
children to be good little dependants, teachers and 'care-givers 'and other
professionals-dependant upon our approval before they can even walk. Of
course our intentions are usually good, but the unspoken message is: "Daddy
and mommy', 'brother and sister, teacher, youth and community worker,
preacher, priest and vicar, social-worker, psychiatrist, psychologist, G.P,
Consultant and other health care professionals etc etc are your source and
supply of all you need.
Be a good little girl/boy do what pleases us, and you will have your needs
taken care of-if you don't,...you'll be sorry." That is the first course in
"People Pleasing, 101" and from there we continue to hone our people
pleasing skills, learning that to some large degree, they still work in the
adult world! The only difference is that we have turned our dependency from
our mum and dad and traded them in for a mate or boss or teacher, youth and
community worker, preacher, priest and vicar, social-worker, psychiatrist,
psychologist, G.P, Consultant and other health care professionals etc
So, we end up raising our children the same way; teaching them to get very
comfortable in wearing a mask-a mask, which unbeknown to them, covers over
the Authentic Self that lies within.
That Authentic Self is where our true and Authentic Power resides also, but
we continue to look for it in others.
The great news is: We can choose to break that cycle for the rest of our
lives and for those generations yet to come!
What is the neurodiverse 'Authentic-Self', does this differ from the
'Neurotypical' 'Authentic-Self'?
What about the 'Authentic-Self' of all disabled people?
Can neurodiverse and others disabled people really find their
'Authentic-Self' within an oppressive and abusive world, in which 'rejects'
the 'mind and bodies' and their 'true-identities' within this world and
Cultures and Societies all over the world are have great difficulties in
accepting 'diversity and neurodiversity', in which the 'powers-above' and
the media reinforce negative 'stereotypes' and 'stigma', through the
powerful discourses and doctrines, especially within the 'medical model' of
disability.
The questions are is how do all neurodiverse disabled people and all other
disabled people break this cycle and away from these 'chains and shackles',
that keep 'us' 'imprisoned' within 'our 'homes and within other abusive
institutions feeling lonely and isolated' and feeling 'powerless' and with
'inner-feelings' of 'self-worthless and 'low confidence' and 'self-esteem'
and needing and having 'trust and faith' in those with the 'power-over'
positions in needing the approval of those 'others' in order to feel the
sense of power we are all questing for and working beside/with 'friends and
peers' to regain some of this 'powers' back from those who took it away and
re-learn new skills with 'others' who are working to change things from a
'power-with position'.
I will be honest and I will state that I have plagiarised and 'cut and
pasted' some of the text and paragraphs within this email, from Dr. Dennis
Merritt Jones, Simi Valley Religious Science Center for Positive Living, but
added some of my own neurodiverse thoughts and ideas from my own life's
experiences.
See following link- http://www.spiritwalk.org/masks.htm
Take-Care
Lot's of Love
Colin R, U.K
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