Hi Mike,

You're on the right track with where the narrator is coming from. Agree
about 'inexorably' and the title is a product of desperation - wasn't sure
what else to call the piece.

I'll have to look close at your other suggestions when I revise.

Thakns a lot for thoughtful comments.

Cheers,


Frank


Hello Frank,
            There are some elements in this poem I really like and others
I´m less keen on. First, I found the poem ambiguous, which is what I guess
Sally was referring to in her comment wondering if it was serious with some
light bits, or light with some serious bits. I like the ambiguity and I
understand it´s intentional, the narrator both desires and is distressed by
these `ghosts´/memories. That´s why they are a temptation and why time
seduces him/her, why memory is perverse. I think the line `time works so
hard at seduction´ is a really great one, but the following line, `flows
inexorably´ smacks of cliché. At the end of that stanza I would question
whether you need to include `to recall´, though you might want to consider
amending `assemble´ to `reassemble´. I would also suggest considering
cutting the final line. I´m not sure you need the pun on weak/week in the
title. There is an ambiguity in the presentation and somewhat in the
diction/tone but this comes across very clearly to me as a very sad poem.
I hope this is useful.



Best wishes,   Mike