Hi Ryfkah,
This is good, it says enough, it lets me find things beyond the poem, the
images - of Van Gogh and a Wolf - are altogether accessable but not cliches.
I feel you can get away with them. I like it.
I would suggest the word "The boy" in the 3rd stanza becomes He: "He is off
to war"
Bob
who, as an aside, is wondering if Van Gogh painted so much yellow because he
couldn't afford to buy the blue...
>From: Ryfkah * <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New: One Last Night
>Date: Sun, 7 Mar 2004 19:33:13 EST
>
>One Last Night
>
>Lapis lazuli heaven
>Van Gough starry night
>
>The moon stares round
>eyed at the boy and girl
>kissing near the lily pond
>Frogs leap in shadow
>A feral cat plays hide 'n seek
>Heat lightning zig zags east
>
>The boy is off to war
>where bombs burst
>the night and boys and girls die
>
>A lone wolf wails
>
>Ryfkah 3/7/04
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