Hi Bob,
A late thought on this piece which I thought read well. You've made a point
of the swans in the first 1/3 of the piece and refer again at the end, but I
think you could do a little more at the end - they glide away, but what
about the potential to break an arm? Could have added a bit of bite with a
parallel to the earlier reference, perhaps?
Cheers,
Frank
> When We're For Coffee
>
> Middle-aged-Dave, who's my age, but the only one here
> in white shirt, neatly knotted dark tie, has already told us all he thinks
> about Grin & Blur It, as he calls the PM, education, then tax, but he
isn't
> offering his biscuits, and I'm looking out the window where, like
yesterday,
> I hope to see swans. I've heard they're vicious, they rush, they hiss,
their
> long wings can break an arm. I ought to take time to watch them more
> closely. Now Ted's telling Mandy and Susie from the top floor how FCUK is
> too crude a name for expensive T-Shirts and jeans, that beautiful things
> should be discreet, and the cost of heating the office is so much more
than
> a jacket and a sweater with the firm's logo, and how the customer pays.
They
> smile to each other but not at us then glide off like swans while he turns
> to John, to me, and as we watch them climb the stairs I'm grateful we
can't
> see their eyes.
>
> Bob
>
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